Heys all, its been awhile since I've last posted. Didn't had much time for posting lately as assignments are tight. As uni resumed, nothing much has changed... But well so much for my personal life...
Today a close friend of mine said something "Hey, its odd how that humans must always feel the need to treasure something right after or when its about to be lost yea?"
It's true, it was dead true of what he had spoken. It was just like yesterday that i could remember so well.. So clearly in my mind of how you have looked like when i first met you. You were a little one among all.. Weak... Bullied... Guess that's why we chose you, because you were always being bullied by the others along with you..
Then fate has brought us together and you've became a part of the family, a part of me. All these years you've taught me countless lessons, and yet without the need to say a word you have done so. But you know in the end there are one last lesson that you will have to give me, that will keep a retention in me for a good long while, long enough that would live with me through out my life. But can i ask for a delay? I don't want the lesson just yet. The movie will not end just so. The movie started through 9 years ago when i was a kid. Now as an adult, i hope for... no... it's more like i need for another while. It doesn't matter what the causation would be, but please, just a little while longer.
Yes i am a free thinker. Yes i do believe in Jesus. Yes i do believe in Buddha. Yes i do believe in Allah. Yes i do believe. But i believe not because of a simple reason of randomness. But i believe because i hope for. The hope of a miracle, the hope for a chance of a miracle.
I've never seen you this weak. We were both born weak. You were once bullied, so was i. You once had no friends around the neighborhood, so do i. You once had a very bad temper, so do i. Together through out life we have both learnt to be strong... Learnt to be who we are today. Learnt to know what our future holds.
Sometimes i wonder if you understand whatever I've said. But as i wonder, i never doubt you. Because i know even if the world were to come to an end, you would always be the one staying beside me. Yes its the truth that even without you, i can still live. I know if you could speak, you would tell the same. Or perhaps you've already told me without even speaking? But without you, a part of me are just lost. You were so close to me, just like a family, or perhaps more..
It's silly really, that some of you wouldn't understand how i feel. And when i actually talk to you guys about it, you guys go like "So?" But i wouldn't blame you guys for so. As you are not me, you would not feel how the unspoken friendship, tears, sweat, hardwork, love, joy, sorrow felt like. Perhaps this lesson of treasuring all was his last lesson to me. But really, i do not wish to take the class now. Not at all.
I don't usually write vulgarities in my blog, but for all of you who are laughing like a bitch/bastard now, please, Alt+F4, and go Fuck yourself.
I love you Jerry, now and always... Please do get well soon and let me walk you again, let me pat you on the head again, let me tickle you again, let me talk to you about my feelings again, let me scold you again, let me give you the chance to bite my shoe again, let me give you a chance to pee on my car tires again, let me run like mad with you again, let me hug you and cry like a child again, let me sleep while you are sleeping beside me guarding me again, let me play the piano for you again while you sit beside me listening, let me ignore you but will know that you are always there when i turn around, let me feed you with good stuff again, let me have my finger bitten by you again while trying to feed you, let me have the chance of you growling at me again when i try to take your food away, let me have to chance to get you in my car and go for a spin late at night, let me and my friends to have the chance to always see you, let me do all these again and again and again.
Axel out...
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ
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