Unknown

This is the story of a man...

A man whom many depend on;
When they are in morose.
A man whom many people know him;
His jolly, tempered but positive attitude.
A man whom many accuse;
His playfulness, his abundant friends.
This is the story of a man,
When one night,
With his car parked dead by the side of the pavement,
His windows rolled down,
His car door partially opened,
His seat folded back,
Laying there in the silence,
With a cigarette on the tip of his fingers.
His mind was quiet, much like the void of the space.
His body was still, much like the midnight lake.
A mild wind broke, blowing his hair a side.
He then drew his phone from his pocket, blindly stared at it.
He opens his phone book, and so he sees familiar names.
He started off from A, scrolling his way through.
A small mosquito landed on his car door, still; as though observing him.
As he scrolled from A to G, K, S and so on,
He realized how empty the phonebook was.
He scrolled and scrolled,
And finally reached bottom Z.
He switched off his phone,
Finished his cigarette,
Flicked it out into the drain.
His seat was back up straight,
His door softly closed,
He springs the engine to live.
As he was reversing his car into the drive way,
He looked at the back mirror,
Noticing the smudged thumb print on his glasses.
He wiped it clean, and place them back on.
He sees clearer now,
his vision recovered.
So off he goes,
To where no one knows, but him.

This is a story of a man,
And that man, knows.

ஐღº Truly alone *rethought* ºღஐ

Hi and hello to all those who have once read my blog... It really has been quite some time since i last made a new post... last post was on January.. haha! Well if you are still reading this, welcome back to my blog :)

Alright... going into the main point of this post now.. I am sure some of you could remember about me posting about things regarding an individual being truly alone. Well I use to think that it was "Because I believe that it is because of those whom we have, that made us feel lonely." Well.. to be honest I am giving that a second thought. Not that the last post were wrong.. But perhaps it is the fact that progress and events that happens in our life changes our point of view from one to another. 

I am sure all of us have felt how it is like being alone, when you are so down and you feel as though you lived in different world from people. But really.. being alone gives us a moment to think.. And I think that is the reason of why people are afraid of being alone.. It is not because of the feeling of being alone that hurts a person, but silence. When a person is alone and silence strikes, it makes them question themselves. It makes them question their existence, meaning and reason for being around people. It makes people ask themselves "Do I really need to be around these people? Do i really need them?"
Questions like these often drive a person crazy at times of silence. But what that really kills a person is in fact not so much of the silence that they face whenever they get home alone, but more of that moment when they are around a bunch of people they know, yet feel completely alone. Perhaps then that is what people feel deep inside? And as they start to feel so, they isolate themselves to get rid of the loneliness that they feel while they are with their friends. And because of that, it starts to feel that being alone in silence aren't that lonely after all.

So then we question ourselves.. Is it lonelier being alone? Or lonelier feeling lonely in a bunch of people we know? I have once mentioned that without wrong decisions, there will be no right decisions.. Without darkness, there will be no light. Perhaps it is the same with being around people... We first feel alone, then feel content being around people we know.. and in the very end feel lonely around these people whom we once cared for. Or perhaps it is a form of process that happens? Just like how every starting point will have an ending point. But the true question is, what is beyond that ending point? There must be something behind it that we can yet to touch or reach for..

So then now we ask ourselves... We once felt alone, then slowly build up a bond that defeats the loneliness, yet in the end because of the bond and contentment that we have that made us realize how it is to be like being truly alone. And now we feel less lonely being alone because we know that everything will end sooner or later... But what’s next? Finding new people to add into coming chapters of our life? If so does it mean that we are basically using people to fill us up to keep us going? So are people around us just like fuel to a car? Or is it true that people can only find peace and serenity when they accepts all faults and beauty, and live a simple life? 

Thanks for reading.. Fruitful thought :))


To fill a glass to its tip may seems to hold a lot, 
            but only an empty glass can be used to fill things.
                            So then we ask ourselves, 
                                             which is more? 
                                          Empty or Content?



Axel out.
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Genuine Acceptance ºღஐ

So we've always talked about how acceptable a person is. Of course to accept a person means to accept them for who they are, no doubt about that. But how do we know if we are truly accepting a person for who they are? Well i do have a question that i have been thinking about lately... Which is the differences between accepting a person for who they are and what they are.

It's simple really when a person is trying to make you accept them, they will do everything that is needed to get the green light for you're heart. But that right there is the problem. Because apparently when a person is trying to make you accept them, they will try their very best to show you the best side of them. And when they get closer to you, then only they slowly show their true colors; their true intentions and behaviors. So then i was curious about how people had a view on this. I posted a status on FB saying "Fear not to show the worst of yourself, as only true ones will stay". Apparently i didn't got a good response from there.

So the idea i had was, what if you try your best to show the worst side of you possible to a person at first sight? Do no priming or relationship bonding before showing them your true self. Would that change how they would treat you in the future? 

A simple example is that for example you've just met a person who you are interested to be friends with. However you are aware that you have a habit of smoking (Not offending any smokers out there). Which choice would you make:

A) Don't smoke on first occasion, get to know each other better first, then as both person gets closer, slowly reveal your habit to that person.

or 

B) Smoke at first occasion, regardless of how they might think about your habits.

Which choice would you make?

Well that's the question right there. Because if you prime a person before hand that you are a nice person, and that you have your good qualities as well, then slowly reveal your bad ones to them, it is more likely that they would take it easier on you and are more likely to accept your flaws. But then by doing this before hand priming has already alter the acceptance level of people towards you... They don't mind your bad habits because you are close to them, and that you are their friends. Not because of the fact that they accepted you as a person who has bad qualities. 

So by stating that example above, does that mean that everyone who hasn't seen the worst of us, or has seen the bad side of us after being primed that we are nice people have not genuinely accepted us?

Being said that, does that mean that by showing a person the worst side of us will tell us if they truly like us from the bottom of their heart? 

For me i solely believe that if a person does genuinely accept us as what we are, but not who we are, they are the ones that accepts us for what we are made of; the one who accepts us for our nature.

Drop me a Msg at FB and tell me how you think about it :)

https://www.facebook.com/YakuzaMyths

And once again thanks for reading my blog :):)

Fear not to show the worst of yourself, 

as only true ones will stay.

A.C out...
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ 

ஐღº Greatest fault ºღஐ

The world we live are often said to be filled with miserable despairs. But the truth do not lies in the fact that our world are not as perfect as we conclude it to be. But because of the people who lives in it. Many people often said something about changing the world, making the world a better place. But the truth is, not many people dare to do what they say. As once said by Napoleon Bonaparte "The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of the good people".

I am sure some of us has come across this some time in our life. When we are with our family watching the news, and suddenly one of your family member just said: "Gosh the world is becoming a really unsafe place". Yes true that the world are becoming more and more violent by days. But it is not solely caused by the bad will of those who committed. But because of the silence of those who are good.
All these while living on this world, only few had the courage to stand up and fight for justice that our world deserve. And yet sometimes when we have people who are willing to stand up and be a part of what that might change the world, those around them wont. And eventually the person will fall without supports of others. It takes 99% of effort and that little 1% of luck that people around us think the same to make this happen. A leader was born to make changes to the world, but yet needs the help of those committed. A football team cannot triumph with a mere leader.

Therefore to my fellow readers out there... If you are reading this, chances are there is a person around you who might just be that specific "leader" which I have mentioned. Sometimes ideas said might be silly and foresee as impossible, but with effort, commitment, trust and hope, we are able to make the impossible possible.

We are all born with potentials. Just because we have yet to discover our talent doesn't mean it does not exist. Something will forever remain as nothing if no one are willing to make it happen. Thus my friend, don't ever give up.


BTW, i hope my fellow readers can support an event that are currently on running by HELP university!!! The link are below, have a look and share it to your friends! ITS MEANINGFUL! You might just safe a life :):)

https://www.facebook.com/HELPWorldMentalHealthDay


Again thanks for reading my blog, have a nice day :)



Hold on and have a shred,
or give up and have none
Don't give up.




A.C out...
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Support my doggies! xD ºღஐ

GUYSSS! Help me like my doggies's pics! they are all competing in a competition!! xD thanks loads!!!

ஐღº Jerry ºღஐ
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=242540912523682&set=a.241009652676808.47713.186706304773810&type=1

ஐღº Boss ºღஐ
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=241801179264322&set=a.241009652676808.47713.186706304773810&type=1

ஐღº Tofu ºღஐ
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=241801199264320&set=a.241009652676808.47713.186706304773810&type=1

HELP ME LIKE LIKE LIKE! thanks~



Axel out!~!
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº What if ºღஐ

I'm sure most of you could tell that I am rarely blogging any more. Well the thing is, life has been busy and busy all the way. To those who are still here to read my blog, i finally have a new post! ;D

Well today I have a short and interesting story that I would like to share to my fellow reader. Its a story about a girl, lets name her.... Valerie. And in Valerie's life, there are two guys who really loved her very much. And you as a reader, I hope that you are able to give me comments and suggestions about what she should do, or what the other two guys should have done. You can email me at clarence_chang_84@hotmail.com or on my fb if you have it. :D

Well lately a friend of mine told me about something. It's a she, and she have told me that all the guys are the same. And in her situation, there are two person. Person A, been in her life for almost half of her life. She loves person A very much and from the way she has expressed her concern and thoughts for him, it is of most difficult to doubt her love for him, however he is far away from her at the moment. And so on the other hand, there is a new comer into her life, which loves her very much as well. Lets name him Person B. 

However, as much as she loves person A, person A has been giving her a great deal of stress lately. And she has been sad almost every night because of the endless argument. And thus whenever person A saddens her, she would somewhat look for person B. And coincidently, person B was somehow always able to make her smile and forget about the situation which she gotten into. However person B was starting to feel that all these effort and caring was just a temporary solution for her sadness and loneliness. Person B knows that someday when person A returns to her side, she would once again dedicate her love fullest to person A. Yet person B, contradictory went against his own common sense of the situation and has chosen to stay beside her through good and bad times until person A comes back. As person B has made up his mind, he is currently doing his best to make her happy, make her smile. And to person B, he did not requested for her to be with him or anything, but just to see her happy and well is what that motivates him to continue loving her, despite the fact that he knows more well than anyone that she will only love person A always. 

At this point many of you may ask, since person A is so far away, why not try to give life a new opportunity? Well here is the thing. Person A has been in almost half of her life. They have loved each other for a really long time, and disregard of his whereabouts, he still takes the effort of calling her every single day. Although they both sometimes argue over things and some over some really little things on the phone making her sad, however he is doing this mainly because he cares for her and that he loves her wholeheartedly. Person A remembers her birthday, remembers everything that she loves and loved. Person A basically knows everything and every inch of her heart. And with little effort, person A are able to make Valerie happy and smile, unlike person B which required a lot of effort and thinking. 

Well guys from the story above, what would you comment about this? I hope you guys understand my decision of keeping all their identity anonymous as they are my friend, and I'm sure some of them read my blog as well, so I don't want to get into trouble with them. 

Please do comment, give your thoughts and opinion for this. :)

and as always have a nice day. 

A.C out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Memories an energy? ºღஐ

Hey all to those that are still viewing my blog, its been nearly two months since I've last made a post. And Oct 1st, was one night before my dearest Jerry passed away. To those that does not know who he is, well he is my doggy, as well as my family. His been with me for 10 years. I love him a lot. And just lately, I've been constantly bringing him back into my mind. Honestly, its never easy to forget. And especially when that something or someone has played such a big role in your life. It was because of this i have raised a question towards myself, are memories some sort of energy?

This may sound quite scientific, but honestly this theory i have is pretty simple. There were questions raised before my current thinking. Which were "Does spirits exist? And if yes, what form?". Just not long ago my mate have share his thoughts and knowledge with me that a human's body produces heat. Following Newton's law, an energy will always become another energy. It transforms, but never perish. So the thing is, if a human body produces heat, when a person dies, the body becomes cold. So what did the heat of the body became? Somewhat similar of what i had in mind, what if memories were a type of energy?

For example today you went to a boxing gym, and the trainer thought you some moves for boxing, which requires you to move around, this thus has created kinetic energy (the energy of movement). But as we finished the training session and head home, we can still recall from our memories and perform the movement again, and thus creating kinetic energy again. So from this, can we conclude that memories are a form of energy?

Also can energy be considered as a form of emotions? In my personal case, i do believe that emotions are a form of investments. And as investments, being together for 10 years with Jerry has created a deep, huge investments of love and care. And now his leaving has triggered a deep emotion reaction for me. To an extend that i feel i couldn't forgive myself, and yet i do not know why i can't. Really, the feeling is almost indescribable.

On the day he passed away, i cried my heart out. And yet after two months, realizing that he could not come back no matter what, i could still cry by just saying the story again. This memory that he have given to me, not only became a part of me, but also a memory that makes me cry each time i think about. Perhaps memories were just a form of energy that are stored in us?

If memory were a form of energy, will it eventually run out? From how i think, yes it does. Lets say today you made a mistake, and that mistake were not crucial or huge, probably you will stay in your memory system for a week or so, and as this memory was transformed into sadness, eventually it will be all transformed into sadness, and in the end perish from our mind. From that we could see in my case, Jerry and i have been together for 10 years. This memory energy that was created from actions, feelings and emotions that i had with Jerry was stored in my memory system, and thus now the memory that was stored are triggered, it is constantly being transformed into sadness, joy, regrets and so on.

From what i have stated above, how do you guys think about it?

Leave some comments in the chatbox yea... thanks guys :D

Emotions today are memories tomorrow,

memories tomorrow are emotions in future.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Let me please? ºღஐ

If life was a movie, you have dedicated your's for me.

Heys all, its been awhile since I've last posted. Didn't had much time for posting lately as assignments are tight. As uni resumed, nothing much has changed... But well so much for my personal life...

Today a close friend of mine said something "Hey, its odd how that humans must always feel the need to treasure something right after or when its about to be lost yea?"

It's true, it was dead true of what he had spoken. It was just like yesterday that i could remember so well.. So clearly in my mind of how you have looked like when i first met you. You were a little one among all.. Weak... Bullied... Guess that's why we chose you, because you were always being bullied by the others along with you..

Then fate has brought us together and you've became a part of the family, a part of me. All these years you've taught me countless lessons, and yet without the need to say a word you have done so. But you know in the end there are one last lesson that you will have to give me, that will keep a retention in me for a good long while, long enough that would live with me through out my life. But can i ask for a delay? I don't want the lesson just yet. The movie will not end just so. The movie started through 9 years ago when i was a kid. Now as an adult, i hope for... no... it's more like i need for another while. It doesn't matter what the causation would be, but please, just a little while longer.

Yes i am a free thinker. Yes i do believe in Jesus. Yes i do believe in Buddha. Yes i do believe in Allah. Yes i do believe. But i believe not because of a simple reason of randomness. But i believe because i hope for. The hope of a miracle, the hope for a chance of a miracle.

I've never seen you this weak. We were both born weak. You were once bullied, so was i. You once had no friends around the neighborhood, so do i. You once had a very bad temper, so do i. Together through out life we have both learnt to be strong... Learnt to be who we are today. Learnt to know what our future holds.

Sometimes i wonder if you understand whatever I've said. But as i wonder, i never doubt you. Because i know even if the world were to come to an end, you would always be the one staying beside me. Yes its the truth that even without you, i can still live. I know if you could speak, you would tell the same. Or perhaps you've already told me without even speaking? But without you, a part of me are just lost. You were so close to me, just like a family, or perhaps more..

It's silly really, that some of you wouldn't understand how i feel. And when i actually talk to you guys about it, you guys go like "So?" But i wouldn't blame you guys for so. As you are not me, you would not feel how the unspoken friendship, tears, sweat, hardwork, love, joy, sorrow felt like. Perhaps this lesson of treasuring all was his last lesson to me. But really, i do not wish to take the class now. Not at all.

I don't usually write vulgarities in my blog, but for all of you who are laughing like a bitch/bastard now, please, Alt+F4, and go Fuck yourself.

I love you Jerry, now and always... Please do get well soon and let me walk you again, let me pat you on the head again, let me tickle you again, let me talk to you about my feelings again, let me scold you again, let me give you the chance to bite my shoe again, let me give you a chance to pee on my car tires again, let me run like mad with you again, let me hug you and cry like a child again, let me sleep while you are sleeping beside me guarding me again, let me play the piano for you again while you sit beside me listening, let me ignore you but will know that you are always there when i turn around, let me feed you with good stuff again, let me have my finger bitten by you again while trying to feed you, let me have the chance of you growling at me again when i try to take your food away, let me have to chance to get you in my car and go for a spin late at night, let me and my friends to have the chance to always see you, let me do all these again and again and again.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Truly alone ºღஐ

Often people have said that they were lonely. But how is it to be truly alone? Is it that for you're whole like you never knew anyone? Or is it that you never had a true friend?

For one to be right, there must be a reason for it to be so. And that is the reason for it to be wrong. As balanced this world is, for one to truly feel lonely, they must first witness the feeling of love and companies by others.

Its been sometime since i've felt such feelings running thru me again. Which reminds me of the first time i actually felt like stopping contacts with my friends, and just isolate myself for some while. But each time i decided to change my phone number, switch my facebook to deactivate, i realized how many of you out there (Just some of you of course), that really needed me. To talk to me when you are feeling down or unhappy... To have a shoulder to cry on... Of course i'm not proclaiming myself to be a really good person or whatsoever, but just to let you guys know, you out there that actually talked and shared your heart to me, those stories of you that i have heard and listened, not with my ears but with my heart, are what that keeps me motivated in life. It is almost as tho you're problems and sadness became a part of my life.

And each time my arrow point towards the button "deactivate", i think of you guys. What if in the next minute, you suddenly needed a listening ear and no one were there for you? What would you do? How would you feel? And those were just the few reasons i've said, there were many more in mind that couldn't be formed into words. Emotions that have been so long suppressed in me that sometimes i think instead of you that needed me to listen, it was me who wanted to listen to you.

To some of you who are close to me, you might realize i have a little habit. I use to never care much about saying bye and all to my friends, but it was life that thought me to treasure all that i have. As life goes on further and further, there were too much that needed to be kept, and yet the chest were too full to keep it all. It was just awhile ago when i stopped saying goodbyes to people. And instead, i say 'see you'. As i've said, i never liked good bye.. And i as life has thought me so far, now i've hate goodbyes even more than ever. I've developed a habit of saying 'see you soon', because i do believe that in a person, at many times majority of us do not like goodbyes. And words we use during communication and contact does affect our subconscious thinking. And so i thought, if just by changing my everyday used words like 'goodbyes' to 'see you soon' could make a person feel less lonely, by make them feel like there are someone who are missing them and are looking forward for their next meet up. And so I've done many little things in life sometimes, without other's noticing trying to make them feel better in life and just to keep a smile on their faces.

To those out there who are still reading my blog, why not give it a try? Change your 'goodbyes' to 'see you soon', and see if your friends does thought of you or feel less lonely? Because i believe that it is because of those whom we have, that made us feel lonely.

Without wrong decisions, there will be no right decisions,

without darkness, there will be no light,

without you, it will not be me here today.

Axel out.

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Because ºღஐ

1. Because they care too much about your safety.

2. Because she understand better than anyone else in this world of how it feels to be hurt by a guy... She was once a girl like you too.

3. Because they are afraid that you went missing.

4. Because they wanna know where you are headed, just in case.

5. Because they wanna make sure you are in class...? Gain their trust *loves*

6. Because it is just their way of knowing who's your friends.

7. Because they wanna know if your friend has a sexy voice :3

8. Because they wanna make sure you don't do that ahem ahem

9. Because they want you to be around them more often

10. Because of something happened in the past... u know..
11. Because they need you to teach them how to knock LOL
12. Because they use to think that yelling at you works... altho now it doesn't anymore, they still do the same

13. Because they care too much about your health, and dinner time is probably the only time in a day where they could sit down with you and have a meal.

14. Because they are afraid of the family feeling being taken away as you grow up...

15. Because to every unfairness, there are an equal amount of fairness in it.

16. Because he is a guy, and guys are durable... Besides, they should be more careful cuz lately a lot of gays TT

17. Because no matter what, they are still the ones you need to respect... Learn to endure...

18. Because they secretly wanna check on your things... well... most probably

19. Because they are just curious maybe?

20. Because they didn't know you had a bad day...

21. Because things are getting more and more expensive... and they wish for you to stay at home more...

22. Because of the same meaning of why can't they work for 24 hours and not care about you?

23. Because little things like this that they laugh about are things that keep them alive.

24. Because they love you... And to one like them, it is a kind of satisfaction of happiness when they can see their own little lady go to sleep safely without any danger.

25. Because they know not much about colleges... But they've tried their best most probably?

26. Because they just don't. Parents are like that LOL

27. Because they are trying hard to communicate with you, using their way.

28. Because you are all they have left in the future when they are on their sick bed. And in the end of the day, the one they only care about is you... And that is why they throw all their anger at you.

29. Because i am not beside you.
30. Because most people are common thinkers.
31. Because they think that it is the environment and people around you that influences you.
32. Because the truth to anything at all are never lovely. But speaking the truth are always better than lies. Besides, it shows that they love you.
33. Because they don't know how... They don't know much about your life, and they are trying hard to know more. But the more they try, the more you try to keep it away from them.

34. Because happiness has its own extension in everyone's mind. To some people, happiness is having everything. To me, happiness can be as simple as looking at you having a smile on your face.

35. Because the more extraordinary your life is, the higher your goal is in life. Same goes to me.

36. Because if you didn't, then my life would be meaningless.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Trust & Mistrust ºღஐ

To love a person is to give them a gun pointed at your heart, and trust that they do not pull the trigger. But what happens when the trigger was pulled? Not only once, but twice, or maybe even three times?

Was there a time in your life where you trusted a person so much?

I really don't know what to type anymore at this point. sry guys.

A.C outs...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Choices and Changes ºღஐ

Hello all... its been awhile since I've last blogged...

Btw guys, do watch the video i posted yea... ;D kindly pause the background music at the right side of the screen... you might have to scroll down a lil to be able to see it...

Its nice to see you all again, to those that have always been around stalking my blog, love you all~ heh! and to those that have passed by, i hope to see your revisit to me again in the near future.

As of course, to those that have been reading my blog, you should all know that i've once wrote a post regarding 'choices'. Well today i'm going to make another post about it, motivated by a little someone by the name of "Ben Comen".

As we all know, choice basically means the moment when you have to make a decision, unreasoned for bad or good. But what are the meaning of 'choice' to you? Fate? Hope? Love? Belief? Investments? or even to some people, things like food or football actually pops into mind when they think about 'choice'.

Choices were always given, and made by ourselves. But in many cases choices came about to us as something we fear, main because we are not aware of what the outcome would be. As we make a choice, it also means that we are forwarding to changes, and of course changes could be born into both good and bad.

By the Paradoxical Theory, personal change occurs we aware of what we are as opposed to trying to become what we are not. (Beisser, 1970)

Many people tries to change themselves, but just before we step out our very first foot into this journey, we have to first understand ourselves. Understand ourselves enough that we could know whats wrong, and what to change, and what not to change. Everything we have done or said cannot be erased. Just like for example at this very moment that you are reading my blog, maybe just because of this little time you've spent reading my blog, and has come to understand something that made you realized what you've been missing in life, or has done to make another feel uncomfortable. Maybe, just maybe by reading this, could have changed your life entirely.. Besides, who knows what comes next?

Maybe some of you could try and read up the book by the name of "Who moved my cheese".

Its a really simple story, but the morals and theories inside are enough to show how some of us in this society are like, and how one could be afraid of making changes, and constrains themselves in their own world, wishing that things would go back to how it use to be like.

Thanks all for reading! ;D

And here is me sleeping xD

Constrains were merely a word to limit us,

to be limited by constrains or not is in our grasp.

Axel out.

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Lived and still living ºღஐ

Hey guys... heh! Was busy lately so didn't really blogged... for some of you that knows that happened to me, YES IM STILL ALIVE! hahahahaha!

Really seatbelts saved my life like TOTALLY... for those drivers out there, remember to fasten your freakin seatbelts! it will really keep your life rolling...

To those that didn't know what happened, yes i had an accident... How do i feel? Complicated... the feeling of almost losing everything.. in that split second... I never understood that life was such short event... it was like i just walked pass death itself... and hearing him say "nah... its not your turn yet... hell is fully booked"

Bet most of you have heard about people who involved in accidents, telling you that they don't remember what happened, well, its damn true... at that few seconds, you really can't remember much.. and all you felt was like "awwwhh fck! i crashed..."

The next day when i went to the crashing site, ppl was like saying "your car flipped 360, and crashed 60 feet down a hill.. and your standing here now... lucky.. god blessed you"

I always knew that i have this reason that i have lived for... and im sure of it now since god gave me a second chance to do what im suppose to do... despite all those shits i've once done, this is really a wake up call... a huge wake up call with a cut on the side of my forehead...

And what was the irony is that my birthday party was only 3 days away.... sent out every invitations... and now since im still here! really wish that you all that was invited would COMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! really wanna see each and everyone of you and hug you guys....

Life was never short... but one's life could just end and disappear just like that... without any expectations.....

Well to be honest guys, my feelings are so complicated now, i really dont know what to type... but thanks for viewing my blog guys... nearly this blog was going to be closed down with its last previous post... haha! Cheers everyone =]

You could live for millions of seconds,

but it all ends in one second.

Cherish both good and bad,

Because you still have the opportunity to cherish them.

Axel out~

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Life and chances ºღஐ

Chances... what does chances means to you? Another chance to do something? To get something back to your side?

Once a person told me long ago... while i was still a kid... he said: " You know why i never do corrections in classes? Because i know that there is a lot of things in life, once you've missed that shot, it would never come back... There are no second chance..."

Its true enough of what he has said... there are things in life which would never have a second chance... Life for instance... We only get one shot for making our life meaningful or die dull. Life often presents us with choices we have to make. And some choices are giving others another chance. When giving others a chance, it is giving yourself a chance to let them once again into your life. We only get to live once, does people really have to wait till the very last moment of their life to then realize that there were chances that he should have given to another, but never had given?

Of course many had asked, is one life enough of us? Some replied, never enough... there are so many to do, yet so little time. Some replied, its more than enough if you use it wisely. Well the truth is, time are something that would never stop, just like numbers... you could start counting from 1 now to infinity, how long would it take? is one life time enough to count from 1 to infinity?

I have come to realize that in one life time, it is never enough for one person to change the world. People have often said about changing the world... but with one man is it enough? How much can one man do? Even just the lately years, how many presidents around the world has said "Hey guess what? im gonna change the world!" And soon they stepped down... so has they changed anything? Indeed they have, they changed several things of course, but what would this benefit people around the world?

In one life time to change the world, is impossible... Unless we could create a culture... or a mindset.. that could live on forever as memories to others, even after we are not here anymore. Those memories are what that could immortalize us. With memories of us in another person, a part of us will always still be alive. And as long as this mindset of memories that we left behind are well preserved, yes we could change the world... not only by one life time, but more than that... Maybe even forever...

Just lately in the news i have heard a Chinese guy that was an ordinary man who sells noodles for a living, He went all the way to Japan just to give out noodles to others who were in hunger for free... For us we might think, its just a bowl of noodles, we could probably do more if we donate a large sum of money yea? But there were one thing forgotten by many... Money, in the end are just still a cold piece of paper with a value on it. However, love and warmth that was given by another would make much more meaning in life than just plain money... Take it this way, if one day you were on the sickbed and you had two choices...1. to have millions of dollars CASH beside you or 2. To have a doggy that had spent 10 years of its life with you... Which one would you choose? I didn't placed your family and friends as the 2nd choice because i wanted those out there to know, when the time comes when you really need someone, even a little doggy could triumph over a million dollars ... Just like how a small hot bowl of noodles in hunger could win over money... The Chinese guy gave himself a chance to do what he wished to do, what he always wanted to do and what he intended to do... He also gave a chance for those whom may die of hunger to live on and fight another day for their life...

Even tho its true that in life, without money there are a million things that we cant do, but its also true that without love, the million of things that we can do with money doesn't bring happiness...

Give others a chance,

Give yourself a chance.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Humane in Humanity ºღஐ

At times as human there are many things that goes beyond our control... for example like fate... disasters... accidents.... And sometimes some of us that weren't in the position of those who were suffering, do not know how they feel...

I was at the movie awhile ago with a friend of mine... Then before we were going to the cinema, i was actually messaging a japanese friend of mine whom were studying in malaysia. We both talked about the situation in japan... and about her families in japan... But shortly we stopped messaging and i went into the cinema with my friend.

After watching the movie and headed home, i came to realize something when i turned on facebook... I saw alot of people.. trying to help... altho some only by a single click to support those groups like "Pray for Japan"... But a part of me felt that how inhumane i am... When some people in this world are facing the worst time of their lives... and some even lost their family members... and i could sit there laughing away about a movie. When a friend of mine needed my companion even just by messaging, to let her feel better... yet I've left the chance of being able to company her for a movie... Which made me think back, what if one day i'm not in malaysia, and some shit happened, and im not at my home town with my childhood friends and families... how would i feel...?

I had an epiphany... Of how limited are one person's strength... How we really want to help another in suffer and sorrow, but all that we could do were to watch and pray... Also how there are still people who cares... Even by the slightest effort... They would try their best to help...

Sometimes i think about those shits that im going thru... When compared to those that they are suffering in japan, its nothing... really nothing at all... Because im still alive... I could get back stabbed by friends... Cheated... Or even break up with my loved one, yet its nothing compare to the pain those felt in crisis...

Every individuals that were born into this world has their own role in life... and of course just like a movie, you cant make a movie with everyone playing the same role... you gotta always have a variety of people to make up a team. But one person alone stands weak... But with us all together, we are stronger than ever... Just like what the people of the past talking about peace had said... "People will always fight... Because there are competition... When someday there are an enemy so strong that we can't stand up to, then the world will stand together as one". So does that mean that as humans we would have to keep on fighting till one day when shit really happens?

Even at these times while japan are facing such crisis, we could still hear some of the older generations, saying that they deserve this. True, japan once invaded a lot of countries. But what that was done was done by those at the older age... Does the people at this age now deserve this? And what that was in the past are the past... Can't people just let it go?

This is why hatred never left humanity... Because people can't forget and forgive... Not until their last breath in this world, when they realize that it doesn't matter that much anymore.. then only they would forgive... But aren't that a little too late?

To my dear readers of my blog... Sometimes in life there are things that weren't worth being angry about... The more you hate would determine the more that you would soon to hate in the future... Life is never fair, but never unfair... When you are feeling at your worst, look around... One of my dearest friend once told me "When you are feeling down, look around... Someone are always fighting a harder battle..."

Forget and forgive their past,

give them a chance to change,

give yourself a chance to accept.

Out, A.C

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Dreams ºღஐ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhoH_2svSLo&feature=player_embedded

The video that i posted above... Its about five aged mens... about their dreams...

The video really showed why do people stay alive.... Everyone has their own little things that gave them meaning in life... gave them a realization that there are reasons for one to stay alive...

It's important for a person to have dreams... although dreams are well, called dreams... But a person without dreams would have lost their meaning in life...

Everyone, just for this second, take your parents for instance... look deep into your heart.... and place yourself into their shoes... their position.... why did they lived in the first place? For their parents... whom is your grandparents... they studied hard, worked hard for them.... and as they get older, they get friends, they get you... and they get more money of course.... But in the very end of the line, does having money really matters that much? Everything that they did and said to us... Was for us... Don't believe it? just think about it... what do they get for nagging and scolding you? So that you would hate them? No of course... its because in the very end of the line, you are what that keeps them alive... At our age not many of us may understand.... Because most of us are still young... but to many of those that has come to an age, they start to count eventually... count how many time does they have left... How long can they still be with you... To take care of you, and making sure that you are alright... And we as children, often do not understand their words...

Here is a short story... Once there was a mother... that was always helping out at home... and she always helps our with her children's laundries and dishes... and at a women at her age, her children often tells her "Why not just send our clothes to the laundry?" And she often reply that she wanna do it herself, but the thing is that every time she does the laundry, she nags at her children and says that shes the maid at home... Her children eventually gets annoyed at one point... But one day, when she was doing the same thing again, and nagging, one of her children realized... that she was doing this because of herself... Shes not doing the laundry for her kids, instead, it was all because of her, thats why she does the laundry all the time.

Well thats the end of the story, anyone guessed why?

Well firstly i have to say... different people have their own perspective of things... As for mine, the mother did all those because she knows that she is getting old... and one thing that all humans are afraid of... is that to feel useless... to have no use of yourself anymore in this world.... and thats why she wants to do the laundry herself even though its tiring for her... and secondly she nags and scold her children is because she can't accept the fact that her children are all grown up and are going to have their own life soon... She can't accept the fact that her role of playing as a "mother" are finally coming to an end... And to her nagging her children are a way to let her feel that she is still their mother, and they are still her baby.... Just like the day when they were born and was hugged close to her.... And to her, she had many things, and are successful in life... but in the end, her true dream was to see each of them to grow up and live happily... Her children in the end, was the reason of why she stays alive... Her children was what that gave meaning to her life...

Back to the video that i was talking about... The 5 mens, had their dream... they knew they couldn't have much to live anymore... their days were numbered... They could have chose to gave up, and end everything... But they had this dream to do what they once loved doing... when they were all young mens running on the beach like there were no tomorrow... just once more before it all ends.... they pushed themselves to the limit preparing for 6 months... for the 13 day trip... from one side of taiwan to another... to recall what was it that gave meaning to their life...

Everyone that we met in life,

and everything that happened in life,

no matter happy or sad,

are what that gave meaning to our life.

Axel out

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Words unspoken ºღஐ

Dear readers of my blog... Im glad that there are still people that reads my blog... to you all that are reading this now, thanks for everything... Lets get to the point shall we?

I want you to take a minute of your time, and close your eyes... Think about how much you know people around you... those that you treasure, and those whom are important to you...

Sometimes people ask, "how much to you know about that person?"

To many the meaning of "knowing" someone is to understand everything that person has said or done. And to others, are that they have spent a long time being friends with them. But does by understanding every single word coming out of that person's mouth makes us understand them? Well yes it does, but sometimes there are things that are beyond the reach of words...

Just think about it by yourself, ever had a hard time trying to describe your feelings? When something so complex happened... to a limit that you don't know what are you thinking about anymore? Some couples at this time would argue... well as i said, SOME only... They just couldn't shut up and listen... they just kept talking and talking, and when one of them says: "I don't know" The other would stress on and say: "Yes you know, you just don't want to tell me".

Well the thing is, at times of our life, there are certain times where we really don't know how to describe our feelings. and as friends, family or even lovers, just by asking "HEY WHATS WRONG?" Sometimes doesn't tells you the true truth of the story... Words are something that make sense to us and gives us the meaning of a person's mind, but if a person were to be able to understand another person's sorrow, joy, anger, hatred etc when the person are feeling complicated without the person to have to say a word, that is true understanding of a person... Which is not just understanding a person's spoken words, but also those that weren't revealed with words... and are indescribable with words...

Honestly even for me i could not do so... For it is not easy... sometimes there are something that could hear better than our ears... visuals better than our eyes... louder than our mouth... Which is a heart... I once come upon a friend of mine that said this "To love a person is to give them a gun pointed at your heart, and trust that they do not pull the trigger".

To open up your own heart is like a turtle out of its shell... vulnerable... weak... As i've always said, every bits of good will have its bad side. and every bad would have its good side... just like the strong bonds and relationship people could form...

Another quote i heard from someone "With you beside me for 100 years i could build a kingdom, with you beside me forever i could give up all that". Read that a few times and you will find it kind of weird as tho it doesn't really make sense... but the truth that he is trying to tell is that, if a he were to be with her for 100 years, he would build a kingdom that he always dream of with her... but if he were given a chance to be with her forever, he would give up everything, even his dream and spend every second of 'forever' with her... Although he said 'forever' but he understood that forever is just a term... everyone knows that nothing lives forever... it just slowly changes into another something... nothing would always and forever be the same... but changing for the better or worst, that will only be told by fate itself....

To be challenged by fear,

are frightening...

To not know whats going on,

are worst...

To love or hate a person,

are tiring...

To lose the chance of doing so,

are indescribable...

outss...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº The Circle of Behavior ºღஐ

At time people do get over confident and egoistic... Those are the things that brings people to their failure and stroke them down... Even in the histories we could see many great figures that almost rule the world, or even claimed great power for themselves... But sometimes being egoistic and looking down on enemies and what life presents us with, we tend to give it a chance to beat us and overcome us.

A person's attitude and behavior are like a circle, when a person are stripped off from everything, with not even a single penny in their pocket, they treat people kind and well.. you get what i mean... But as they get rich and got hold of power, things like that made them change... into another person that sometimes we would not recognize... because of their achievements they have changed, so questions was raised... Was this achievement of that person made him into a better person? Or has it destroyed the person's original self?

In this world there are never such things as wanting a person to adapt to you, because that person are what that surround you... You could never have your surroundings to adapt to you, but you could have yourself adapted to your surroundings. Its more like a two way thing, thats why people often says that in a relationship, both must adapt to each other... Its only then two person could be together as one...

Therefore sometimes when a person's surroundings such as money, power, fame... and so on so forth, made them into another person that was overruled by greed and supremacy, its up to those around that person who are still aware of whats happening to give them a knock on the head, to wake them up from being influenced by this evil... It was told before that one person's true happiness was formed from friendship... With friendship, many things that couldn't be said to understand could be understand... Only another's mind would be able to understand another's... But there is a hiccup, as complicated as the mind are... sometimes its unexplainable how and why do we do something... That is when the need of understanding another's silence comes in to play...

As one get out of control of themselves, with people that cares for the person to bring that person back, are something that fame and money would never be able to do.. to bring a person back their own humanity... their rationality... To make the person who they are again... People just need an epiphany to understand what they have lose from that they have gain... In life many things are fair and equal... One good thing that happened will lead to a bad one... just like momentum, punching something with your fist would cause the same amount of force to act back your fist... Sometimes when something good happens, doesn't mean the bad side would happen... Sometimes when something bad happens, doesn't mean the good will never come... Its just a matter of time...

Always be cautions of

where you are,

who you are,

what you live for,

and where you stand...

Do not lose who you are with what you possess,

possess yourself and do not lose what you have.

outss...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Departure ºღஐ

As life goes on... i have learn many things in life... i use to think that being apart from someone is something painful and sorrow, impossible to accept... But today i have come to realize the difference... The difference not in sense that it is alright to be apart from someone we love or cherish... But the departure of someone that we once loved and cherished... The feeling that the person would be gone forever and never back...

When i was a small kid back then, i use to take relationships as tho they were my life. I use to think that being apart with someone that we love the most are something painful and unacceptable. Every time a relationship i have ended, i get sad and lifeless... But today has let me realize the true painful of so called "being apart"... Apart not as in the situation of stopped talking or texting someone, but the apart of not being able to see them again... or even hear from them...

It was a day when my father slept till late afternoon... which made me wonder what has happened... But i never thought much about it, instead i just assumed that he was tired and needed more rest. As the clock hits 5pm in the evening, i was even more surprised that no one talked about the usual sunday hike that we always go consistently. When i asked my father where would we go for dinner, he answered me with a normal tone "He passed away, didn't you know?" At that moment, its as tho my heart fell to my stomach... Not literally, but the feeling of a shocking news that was heard out of expectations. Even with his so calmed and normal tone, a slight feeling of sorrow were felt... My father, also as my idol has always been a strong figure in my life... His determination and the way he deals with things, made me so today. It was a day where the house were drown by complete silence... Everyone's face showed nothing... and out of nothing, something... well you get what i mean... its indescribable... As we were all dressed black and grey... we stepped into our father's car and headed for his place... maybe for one last time we would see him...

The trip there were silent... None spoke of a word... As we have arrived, many were there... but silent remains... We walked into his house with feelings so complicated... To be honest i didn't even knew if i would shed tears... We all took one of those that chinese called "xiang", its a kind of tradition thing... As we were lining up to give him our last words... i could hear my uncle's mourn... The mourn of a true friend that gave everyone the feeling that "he is gone...forever..."

Then all started to tear... Even for me i couldn't resist... He was like an uncle to me... Even before i was able to start remember things, he is already in my life... Although im not as close to him, unlike my siblings and my father... But i could feel the bond, as tho its being break apart... We then walked in to see him for one last time... He was already in there... Laying there... as tho he was asleep... Again... its indescribable... Then i see this figure that had always been someone that i look up to... He has always been telling me about his experience in life... my brother... turned around, facing the wall... Without asking i could tell... How he felt deep inside himself...

And this is one thing that surprised me the most... The man that had brought me up... raised me into what i am today... Looking into those eyes of his that were always serious and at times fierce... for the first time i saw them becoming red... and filled with tears about to drop.... I could understand how painful it really is to have someone so close and important to leave...forever... Those impression of people and feelings that weren't able to be understand merely by words or from normal situation made me realize how the meaning of truly apart is...

A person's life are precious... Some people died with no reason and meaning... Some with meanings so deep, that its not just carved, but planted into the core of our heart forever... With his whole life gave us a conclusion... a lesson that made us all grown up a little bit more... A great indescribable realization of great truth that were only able to be understand by a departure of forever....

We would always love you... and as we remember you, you will always be in our memory and in all of us... apart of you will always be alive and continue to walk down this road of life with us...

Rest in Peace...

To those out there... Cherish your life... Some things would never come back as they are gone... When a bond or a relationship ends, do not sorrow or anger... hatred is just another childish reason to avoid reality... Cherish the time we have... both with our friends and enemy... because once the true ending comes... Nothing that happened now would ever happen again... Things that hurt us and aided us are what that made us who we are today and are what that had brought us up and forged us... And give us lessons in life to one day realize something that we never knew...

Cherish all we have...

Both liked and disliked...

Because everything thats in life is a part of life...

We only live life once...

Live it all out...

outss....

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Memories Unfold ºღஐ

A sudden strike of emotions had bring upon a memory that i once had... deeply carved in my heart... Lets make this into a story shall we? It begins with two good friends...

Once there were two good friends, although they were parted by a huge age gap, they were managed to be friends. And well the younger one never really had an interesting hobby, so he always asked about a lot of things and his curiosity sometimes annoys people around him... One day the elder one introduced to him something called "chess". In favor of his interest, the younger friend had accept his offer and had learnt chess from him... And they had good times playing chess... and till one day the younger friend asked the elder friend "hey buddy, what is it that we are able to gain from playing chess?" the elder friend answered, "wasting time..." the younger friend had a sudden moment of silent, then he stopped playing chess with his friend ever again.... and they had never talked much nor discuss much things together ever again...

As this simply story above, whoever that are still reading my blog or randomly read my blog, mind to leave comments on the comment box? what do you think about this?

outss

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ