Clare's Blog........

ஐღº Memories an energy? ºღஐ

2011-12-04T22:00:00.002+08:00

Hey all to those that are still viewing my blog, its been nearly two months since I've last made a post. And Oct 1st, was one night before my dearest Jerry passed away. To those that does not know who he is, well he is my doggy, as well as my family. His been with me for 10 years. I love him a lot. And just lately, I've been constantly bringing him back into my mind. Honestly, its never easy to forget. And especially when that something or someone has played such a big role in your life. It was because of this i have raised a question towards myself, are memories some sort of energy?

This may sound quite scientific, but honestly this theory i have is pretty simple. There were questions raised before my current thinking. Which were "Does spirits exist? And if yes, what form?". Just not long ago my mate have share his thoughts and knowledge with me that a human's body produces heat. Following Newton's law, an energy will always become another energy. It transforms, but never perish. So the thing is, if a human body produces heat, when a person dies, the body becomes cold. So what did the heat of the body became? Somewhat similar of what i had in mind, what if memories were a type of energy?

For example today you went to a boxing gym, and the trainer thought you some moves for boxing, which requires you to move around, this thus has created kinetic energy (the energy of movement). But as we finished the training session and head home, we can still recall from our memories and perform the movement again, and thus creating kinetic energy again. So from this, can we conclude that memories are a form of energy?

Also can energy be considered as a form of emotions? In my personal case, i do believe that emotions are a form of investments. And as investments, being together for 10 years with Jerry has created a deep, huge investments of love and care. And now his leaving has triggered a deep emotion reaction for me. To an extend that i feel i couldn't forgive myself, and yet i do not know why i can't. Really, the feeling is almost indescribable.

On the day he passed away, i cried my heart out. And yet after two months, realizing that he could not come back no matter what, i could still cry by just saying the story again. This memory that he have given to me, not only became a part of me, but also a memory that makes me cry each time i think about. Perhaps memories were just a form of energy that are stored in us?

If memory were a form of energy, will it eventually run out? From how i think, yes it does. Lets say today you made a mistake, and that mistake were not crucial or huge, probably you will stay in your memory system for a week or so, and as this memory was transformed into sadness, eventually it will be all transformed into sadness, and in the end perish from our mind. From that we could see in my case, Jerry and i have been together for 10 years. This memory energy that was created from actions, feelings and emotions that i had with Jerry was stored in my memory system, and thus now the memory that was stored are triggered, it is constantly being transformed into sadness, joy, regrets and so on.

From what i have stated above, how do you guys think about it?

Leave some comments in the chatbox yea... thanks guys :D

Emotions today are memories tomorrow,

memories tomorrow are emotions in future.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Let me please? ºღஐ

2011-10-01T05:45:00.003+08:00

If life was a movie, you have dedicated your's for me.

Heys all, its been awhile since I've last posted. Didn't had much time for posting lately as assignments are tight. As uni resumed, nothing much has changed... But well so much for my personal life...

Today a close friend of mine said something "Hey, its odd how that humans must always feel the need to treasure something right after or when its about to be lost yea?"

It's true, it was dead true of what he had spoken. It was just like yesterday that i could remember so well.. So clearly in my mind of how you have looked like when i first met you. You were a little one among all.. Weak... Bullied... Guess that's why we chose you, because you were always being bullied by the others along with you..

Then fate has brought us together and you've became a part of the family, a part of me. All these years you've taught me countless lessons, and yet without the need to say a word you have done so. But you know in the end there are one last lesson that you will have to give me, that will keep a retention in me for a good long while, long enough that would live with me through out my life. But can i ask for a delay? I don't want the lesson just yet. The movie will not end just so. The movie started through 9 years ago when i was a kid. Now as an adult, i hope for... no... it's more like i need for another while. It doesn't matter what the causation would be, but please, just a little while longer.

Yes i am a free thinker. Yes i do believe in Jesus. Yes i do believe in Buddha. Yes i do believe in Allah. Yes i do believe. But i believe not because of a simple reason of randomness. But i believe because i hope for. The hope of a miracle, the hope for a chance of a miracle.

I've never seen you this weak. We were both born weak. You were once bullied, so was i. You once had no friends around the neighborhood, so do i. You once had a very bad temper, so do i. Together through out life we have both learnt to be strong... Learnt to be who we are today. Learnt to know what our future holds.

Sometimes i wonder if you understand whatever I've said. But as i wonder, i never doubt you. Because i know even if the world were to come to an end, you would always be the one staying beside me. Yes its the truth that even without you, i can still live. I know if you could speak, you would tell the same. Or perhaps you've already told me without even speaking? But without you, a part of me are just lost. You were so close to me, just like a family, or perhaps more..

It's silly really, that some of you wouldn't understand how i feel. And when i actually talk to you guys about it, you guys go like "So?" But i wouldn't blame you guys for so. As you are not me, you would not feel how the unspoken friendship, tears, sweat, hardwork, love, joy, sorrow felt like. Perhaps this lesson of treasuring all was his last lesson to me. But really, i do not wish to take the class now. Not at all.

I don't usually write vulgarities in my blog, but for all of you who are laughing like a bitch/bastard now, please, Alt+F4, and go Fuck yourself.

I love you Jerry, now and always... Please do get well soon and let me walk you again, let me pat you on the head again, let me tickle you again, let me talk to you about my feelings again, let me scold you again, let me give you the chance to bite my shoe again, let me give you a chance to pee on my car tires again, let me run like mad with you again, let me hug you and cry like a child again, let me sleep while you are sleeping beside me guarding me again, let me play the piano for you again while you sit beside me listening, let me ignore you but will know that you are always there when i turn around, let me feed you with good stuff again, let me have my finger bitten by you again while trying to feed you, let me have the chance of you growling at me again when i try to take your food away, let me have to chance to get you in my car and go for a spin late at night, let me and my friends to have the chance to always see you, let me do all these again and again and again.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Truly alone ºღஐ

2011-08-17T02:09:00.003+08:00

Often people have said that they were lonely. But how is it to be truly alone? Is it that for you're whole like you never knew anyone? Or is it that you never had a true friend?

For one to be right, there must be a reason for it to be so. And that is the reason for it to be wrong. As balanced this world is, for one to truly feel lonely, they must first witness the feeling of love and companies by others.

Its been sometime since i've felt such feelings running thru me again. Which reminds me of the first time i actually felt like stopping contacts with my friends, and just isolate myself for some while. But each time i decided to change my phone number, switch my facebook to deactivate, i realized how many of you out there (Just some of you of course), that really needed me. To talk to me when you are feeling down or unhappy... To have a shoulder to cry on... Of course i'm not proclaiming myself to be a really good person or whatsoever, but just to let you guys know, you out there that actually talked and shared your heart to me, those stories of you that i have heard and listened, not with my ears but with my heart, are what that keeps me motivated in life. It is almost as tho you're problems and sadness became a part of my life.

And each time my arrow point towards the button "deactivate", i think of you guys. What if in the next minute, you suddenly needed a listening ear and no one were there for you? What would you do? How would you feel? And those were just the few reasons i've said, there were many more in mind that couldn't be formed into words. Emotions that have been so long suppressed in me that sometimes i think instead of you that needed me to listen, it was me who wanted to listen to you.

To some of you who are close to me, you might realize i have a little habit. I use to never care much about saying bye and all to my friends, but it was life that thought me to treasure all that i have. As life goes on further and further, there were too much that needed to be kept, and yet the chest were too full to keep it all. It was just awhile ago when i stopped saying goodbyes to people. And instead, i say 'see you'. As i've said, i never liked good bye.. And i as life has thought me so far, now i've hate goodbyes even more than ever. I've developed a habit of saying 'see you soon', because i do believe that in a person, at many times majority of us do not like goodbyes. And words we use during communication and contact does affect our subconscious thinking. And so i thought, if just by changing my everyday used words like 'goodbyes' to 'see you soon' could make a person feel less lonely, by make them feel like there are someone who are missing them and are looking forward for their next meet up. And so I've done many little things in life sometimes, without other's noticing trying to make them feel better in life and just to keep a smile on their faces.

To those out there who are still reading my blog, why not give it a try? Change your 'goodbyes' to 'see you soon', and see if your friends does thought of you or feel less lonely? Because i believe that it is because of those whom we have, that made us feel lonely.

Without wrong decisions, there will be no right decisions,

without darkness, there will be no light,

without you, it will not be me here today.

Axel out.

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Because ºღஐ

2011-07-06T23:24:00.002+08:00

1. Because they care too much about your safety.

2. Because she understand better than anyone else in this world of how it feels to be hurt by a guy... She was once a girl like you too.

3. Because they are afraid that you went missing.

4. Because they wanna know where you are headed, just in case.

5. Because they wanna make sure you are in class...? Gain their trust *loves*

6. Because it is just their way of knowing who's your friends.

7. Because they wanna know if your friend has a sexy voice :3

8. Because they wanna make sure you don't do that ahem ahem

9. Because they want you to be around them more often

10. Because of something happened in the past... u know..
11. Because they need you to teach them how to knock LOL
12. Because they use to think that yelling at you works... altho now it doesn't anymore, they still do the same

13. Because they care too much about your health, and dinner time is probably the only time in a day where they could sit down with you and have a meal.

14. Because they are afraid of the family feeling being taken away as you grow up...

15. Because to every unfairness, there are an equal amount of fairness in it.

16. Because he is a guy, and guys are durable... Besides, they should be more careful cuz lately a lot of gays TT

17. Because no matter what, they are still the ones you need to respect... Learn to endure...

18. Because they secretly wanna check on your things... well... most probably

19. Because they are just curious maybe?

20. Because they didn't know you had a bad day...

21. Because things are getting more and more expensive... and they wish for you to stay at home more...

22. Because of the same meaning of why can't they work for 24 hours and not care about you?

23. Because little things like this that they laugh about are things that keep them alive.

24. Because they love you... And to one like them, it is a kind of satisfaction of happiness when they can see their own little lady go to sleep safely without any danger.

25. Because they know not much about colleges... But they've tried their best most probably?

26. Because they just don't. Parents are like that LOL

27. Because they are trying hard to communicate with you, using their way.

28. Because you are all they have left in the future when they are on their sick bed. And in the end of the day, the one they only care about is you... And that is why they throw all their anger at you.

29. Because i am not beside you.
30. Because most people are common thinkers.
31. Because they think that it is the environment and people around you that influences you.
32. Because the truth to anything at all are never lovely. But speaking the truth are always better than lies. Besides, it shows that they love you.
33. Because they don't know how... They don't know much about your life, and they are trying hard to know more. But the more they try, the more you try to keep it away from them.

34. Because happiness has its own extension in everyone's mind. To some people, happiness is having everything. To me, happiness can be as simple as looking at you having a smile on your face.

35. Because the more extraordinary your life is, the higher your goal is in life. Same goes to me.

36. Because if you didn't, then my life would be meaningless.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Trust & Mistrust ºღஐ

2011-07-01T03:22:00.002+08:00

To love a person is to give them a gun pointed at your heart, and trust that they do not pull the trigger. But what happens when the trigger was pulled? Not only once, but twice, or maybe even three times?

Was there a time in your life where you trusted a person so much?

I really don't know what to type anymore at this point. sry guys.

A.C outs...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Choices and Changes ºღஐ

2011-05-17T02:04:00.003+08:00

Hello all... its been awhile since I've last blogged...

Btw guys, do watch the video i posted yea... ;D kindly pause the background music at the right side of the screen... you might have to scroll down a lil to be able to see it...

Its nice to see you all again, to those that have always been around stalking my blog, love you all~ heh! and to those that have passed by, i hope to see your revisit to me again in the near future.

As of course, to those that have been reading my blog, you should all know that i've once wrote a post regarding 'choices'. Well today i'm going to make another post about it, motivated by a little someone by the name of "Ben Comen".

As we all know, choice basically means the moment when you have to make a decision, unreasoned for bad or good. But what are the meaning of 'choice' to you? Fate? Hope? Love? Belief? Investments? or even to some people, things like food or football actually pops into mind when they think about 'choice'.

Choices were always given, and made by ourselves. But in many cases choices came about to us as something we fear, main because we are not aware of what the outcome would be. As we make a choice, it also means that we are forwarding to changes, and of course changes could be born into both good and bad.

By the Paradoxical Theory, personal change occurs we aware of what we are as opposed to trying to become what we are not. (Beisser, 1970)

Many people tries to change themselves, but just before we step out our very first foot into this journey, we have to first understand ourselves. Understand ourselves enough that we could know whats wrong, and what to change, and what not to change. Everything we have done or said cannot be erased. Just like for example at this very moment that you are reading my blog, maybe just because of this little time you've spent reading my blog, and has come to understand something that made you realized what you've been missing in life, or has done to make another feel uncomfortable. Maybe, just maybe by reading this, could have changed your life entirely.. Besides, who knows what comes next?

Maybe some of you could try and read up the book by the name of "Who moved my cheese".

Its a really simple story, but the morals and theories inside are enough to show how some of us in this society are like, and how one could be afraid of making changes, and constrains themselves in their own world, wishing that things would go back to how it use to be like.

Thanks all for reading! ;D

And here is me sleeping xD

Constrains were merely a word to limit us,

to be limited by constrains or not is in our grasp.

Axel out.

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Lived and still living ºღஐ

2011-04-07T21:53:00.003+08:00

Hey guys... heh! Was busy lately so didn't really blogged... for some of you that knows that happened to me, YES IM STILL ALIVE! hahahahaha!

Really seatbelts saved my life like TOTALLY... for those drivers out there, remember to fasten your freakin seatbelts! it will really keep your life rolling...

To those that didn't know what happened, yes i had an accident... How do i feel? Complicated... the feeling of almost losing everything.. in that split second... I never understood that life was such short event... it was like i just walked pass death itself... and hearing him say "nah... its not your turn yet... hell is fully booked"

Bet most of you have heard about people who involved in accidents, telling you that they don't remember what happened, well, its damn true... at that few seconds, you really can't remember much.. and all you felt was like "awwwhh fck! i crashed..."

The next day when i went to the crashing site, ppl was like saying "your car flipped 360, and crashed 60 feet down a hill.. and your standing here now... lucky.. god blessed you"

I always knew that i have this reason that i have lived for... and im sure of it now since god gave me a second chance to do what im suppose to do... despite all those shits i've once done, this is really a wake up call... a huge wake up call with a cut on the side of my forehead...

And what was the irony is that my birthday party was only 3 days away.... sent out every invitations... and now since im still here! really wish that you all that was invited would COMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! really wanna see each and everyone of you and hug you guys....

Life was never short... but one's life could just end and disappear just like that... without any expectations.....

Well to be honest guys, my feelings are so complicated now, i really dont know what to type... but thanks for viewing my blog guys... nearly this blog was going to be closed down with its last previous post... haha! Cheers everyone =]

You could live for millions of seconds,

but it all ends in one second.

Cherish both good and bad,

Because you still have the opportunity to cherish them.

Axel out~

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Life and chances ºღஐ

2011-03-26T04:23:00.004+08:00

Chances... what does chances means to you? Another chance to do something? To get something back to your side?

Once a person told me long ago... while i was still a kid... he said: " You know why i never do corrections in classes? Because i know that there is a lot of things in life, once you've missed that shot, it would never come back... There are no second chance..."

Its true enough of what he has said... there are things in life which would never have a second chance... Life for instance... We only get one shot for making our life meaningful or die dull. Life often presents us with choices we have to make. And some choices are giving others another chance. When giving others a chance, it is giving yourself a chance to let them once again into your life. We only get to live once, does people really have to wait till the very last moment of their life to then realize that there were chances that he should have given to another, but never had given?

Of course many had asked, is one life enough of us? Some replied, never enough... there are so many to do, yet so little time. Some replied, its more than enough if you use it wisely. Well the truth is, time are something that would never stop, just like numbers... you could start counting from 1 now to infinity, how long would it take? is one life time enough to count from 1 to infinity?

I have come to realize that in one life time, it is never enough for one person to change the world. People have often said about changing the world... but with one man is it enough? How much can one man do? Even just the lately years, how many presidents around the world has said "Hey guess what? im gonna change the world!" And soon they stepped down... so has they changed anything? Indeed they have, they changed several things of course, but what would this benefit people around the world?

In one life time to change the world, is impossible... Unless we could create a culture... or a mindset.. that could live on forever as memories to others, even after we are not here anymore. Those memories are what that could immortalize us. With memories of us in another person, a part of us will always still be alive. And as long as this mindset of memories that we left behind are well preserved, yes we could change the world... not only by one life time, but more than that... Maybe even forever...

Just lately in the news i have heard a Chinese guy that was an ordinary man who sells noodles for a living, He went all the way to Japan just to give out noodles to others who were in hunger for free... For us we might think, its just a bowl of noodles, we could probably do more if we donate a large sum of money yea? But there were one thing forgotten by many... Money, in the end are just still a cold piece of paper with a value on it. However, love and warmth that was given by another would make much more meaning in life than just plain money... Take it this way, if one day you were on the sickbed and you had two choices...1. to have millions of dollars CASH beside you or 2. To have a doggy that had spent 10 years of its life with you... Which one would you choose? I didn't placed your family and friends as the 2nd choice because i wanted those out there to know, when the time comes when you really need someone, even a little doggy could triumph over a million dollars ... Just like how a small hot bowl of noodles in hunger could win over money... The Chinese guy gave himself a chance to do what he wished to do, what he always wanted to do and what he intended to do... He also gave a chance for those whom may die of hunger to live on and fight another day for their life...

Even tho its true that in life, without money there are a million things that we cant do, but its also true that without love, the million of things that we can do with money doesn't bring happiness...

Give others a chance,

Give yourself a chance.

Axel out...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Humane in Humanity ºღஐ

2011-03-13T03:36:00.004+08:00

At times as human there are many things that goes beyond our control... for example like fate... disasters... accidents.... And sometimes some of us that weren't in the position of those who were suffering, do not know how they feel...

I was at the movie awhile ago with a friend of mine... Then before we were going to the cinema, i was actually messaging a japanese friend of mine whom were studying in malaysia. We both talked about the situation in japan... and about her families in japan... But shortly we stopped messaging and i went into the cinema with my friend.

After watching the movie and headed home, i came to realize something when i turned on facebook... I saw alot of people.. trying to help... altho some only by a single click to support those groups like "Pray for Japan"... But a part of me felt that how inhumane i am... When some people in this world are facing the worst time of their lives... and some even lost their family members... and i could sit there laughing away about a movie. When a friend of mine needed my companion even just by messaging, to let her feel better... yet I've left the chance of being able to company her for a movie... Which made me think back, what if one day i'm not in malaysia, and some shit happened, and im not at my home town with my childhood friends and families... how would i feel...?

I had an epiphany... Of how limited are one person's strength... How we really want to help another in suffer and sorrow, but all that we could do were to watch and pray... Also how there are still people who cares... Even by the slightest effort... They would try their best to help...

Sometimes i think about those shits that im going thru... When compared to those that they are suffering in japan, its nothing... really nothing at all... Because im still alive... I could get back stabbed by friends... Cheated... Or even break up with my loved one, yet its nothing compare to the pain those felt in crisis...

Every individuals that were born into this world has their own role in life... and of course just like a movie, you cant make a movie with everyone playing the same role... you gotta always have a variety of people to make up a team. But one person alone stands weak... But with us all together, we are stronger than ever... Just like what the people of the past talking about peace had said... "People will always fight... Because there are competition... When someday there are an enemy so strong that we can't stand up to, then the world will stand together as one". So does that mean that as humans we would have to keep on fighting till one day when shit really happens?

Even at these times while japan are facing such crisis, we could still hear some of the older generations, saying that they deserve this. True, japan once invaded a lot of countries. But what that was done was done by those at the older age... Does the people at this age now deserve this? And what that was in the past are the past... Can't people just let it go?

This is why hatred never left humanity... Because people can't forget and forgive... Not until their last breath in this world, when they realize that it doesn't matter that much anymore.. then only they would forgive... But aren't that a little too late?

To my dear readers of my blog... Sometimes in life there are things that weren't worth being angry about... The more you hate would determine the more that you would soon to hate in the future... Life is never fair, but never unfair... When you are feeling at your worst, look around... One of my dearest friend once told me "When you are feeling down, look around... Someone are always fighting a harder battle..."

Forget and forgive their past,

give them a chance to change,

give yourself a chance to accept.

Out, A.C

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Dreams ºღஐ

2011-02-18T00:20:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhoH_2svSLo&feature=player_embedded

The video that i posted above... Its about five aged mens... about their dreams...

The video really showed why do people stay alive.... Everyone has their own little things that gave them meaning in life... gave them a realization that there are reasons for one to stay alive...

It's important for a person to have dreams... although dreams are well, called dreams... But a person without dreams would have lost their meaning in life...

Everyone, just for this second, take your parents for instance... look deep into your heart.... and place yourself into their shoes... their position.... why did they lived in the first place? For their parents... whom is your grandparents... they studied hard, worked hard for them.... and as they get older, they get friends, they get you... and they get more money of course.... But in the very end of the line, does having money really matters that much? Everything that they did and said to us... Was for us... Don't believe it? just think about it... what do they get for nagging and scolding you? So that you would hate them? No of course... its because in the very end of the line, you are what that keeps them alive... At our age not many of us may understand.... Because most of us are still young... but to many of those that has come to an age, they start to count eventually... count how many time does they have left... How long can they still be with you... To take care of you, and making sure that you are alright... And we as children, often do not understand their words...

Here is a short story... Once there was a mother... that was always helping out at home... and she always helps our with her children's laundries and dishes... and at a women at her age, her children often tells her "Why not just send our clothes to the laundry?" And she often reply that she wanna do it herself, but the thing is that every time she does the laundry, she nags at her children and says that shes the maid at home... Her children eventually gets annoyed at one point... But one day, when she was doing the same thing again, and nagging, one of her children realized... that she was doing this because of herself... Shes not doing the laundry for her kids, instead, it was all because of her, thats why she does the laundry all the time.

Well thats the end of the story, anyone guessed why?

Well firstly i have to say... different people have their own perspective of things... As for mine, the mother did all those because she knows that she is getting old... and one thing that all humans are afraid of... is that to feel useless... to have no use of yourself anymore in this world.... and thats why she wants to do the laundry herself even though its tiring for her... and secondly she nags and scold her children is because she can't accept the fact that her children are all grown up and are going to have their own life soon... She can't accept the fact that her role of playing as a "mother" are finally coming to an end... And to her nagging her children are a way to let her feel that she is still their mother, and they are still her baby.... Just like the day when they were born and was hugged close to her.... And to her, she had many things, and are successful in life... but in the end, her true dream was to see each of them to grow up and live happily... Her children in the end, was the reason of why she stays alive... Her children was what that gave meaning to her life...

Back to the video that i was talking about... The 5 mens, had their dream... they knew they couldn't have much to live anymore... their days were numbered... They could have chose to gave up, and end everything... But they had this dream to do what they once loved doing... when they were all young mens running on the beach like there were no tomorrow... just once more before it all ends.... they pushed themselves to the limit preparing for 6 months... for the 13 day trip... from one side of taiwan to another... to recall what was it that gave meaning to their life...

Everyone that we met in life,

and everything that happened in life,

no matter happy or sad,

are what that gave meaning to our life.

Axel out

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Words unspoken ºღஐ

2011-01-11T03:29:00.002+08:00

Dear readers of my blog... Im glad that there are still people that reads my blog... to you all that are reading this now, thanks for everything... Lets get to the point shall we?

I want you to take a minute of your time, and close your eyes... Think about how much you know people around you... those that you treasure, and those whom are important to you...

Sometimes people ask, "how much to you know about that person?"

To many the meaning of "knowing" someone is to understand everything that person has said or done. And to others, are that they have spent a long time being friends with them. But does by understanding every single word coming out of that person's mouth makes us understand them? Well yes it does, but sometimes there are things that are beyond the reach of words...

Just think about it by yourself, ever had a hard time trying to describe your feelings? When something so complex happened... to a limit that you don't know what are you thinking about anymore? Some couples at this time would argue... well as i said, SOME only... They just couldn't shut up and listen... they just kept talking and talking, and when one of them says: "I don't know" The other would stress on and say: "Yes you know, you just don't want to tell me".

Well the thing is, at times of our life, there are certain times where we really don't know how to describe our feelings. and as friends, family or even lovers, just by asking "HEY WHATS WRONG?" Sometimes doesn't tells you the true truth of the story... Words are something that make sense to us and gives us the meaning of a person's mind, but if a person were to be able to understand another person's sorrow, joy, anger, hatred etc when the person are feeling complicated without the person to have to say a word, that is true understanding of a person... Which is not just understanding a person's spoken words, but also those that weren't revealed with words... and are indescribable with words...

Honestly even for me i could not do so... For it is not easy... sometimes there are something that could hear better than our ears... visuals better than our eyes... louder than our mouth... Which is a heart... I once come upon a friend of mine that said this "To love a person is to give them a gun pointed at your heart, and trust that they do not pull the trigger".

To open up your own heart is like a turtle out of its shell... vulnerable... weak... As i've always said, every bits of good will have its bad side. and every bad would have its good side... just like the strong bonds and relationship people could form...

Another quote i heard from someone "With you beside me for 100 years i could build a kingdom, with you beside me forever i could give up all that". Read that a few times and you will find it kind of weird as tho it doesn't really make sense... but the truth that he is trying to tell is that, if a he were to be with her for 100 years, he would build a kingdom that he always dream of with her... but if he were given a chance to be with her forever, he would give up everything, even his dream and spend every second of 'forever' with her... Although he said 'forever' but he understood that forever is just a term... everyone knows that nothing lives forever... it just slowly changes into another something... nothing would always and forever be the same... but changing for the better or worst, that will only be told by fate itself....

To be challenged by fear,

are frightening...

To not know whats going on,

are worst...

To love or hate a person,

are tiring...

To lose the chance of doing so,

are indescribable...

outss...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº The Circle of Behavior ºღஐ

2011-01-05T04:01:00.003+08:00

At time people do get over confident and egoistic... Those are the things that brings people to their failure and stroke them down... Even in the histories we could see many great figures that almost rule the world, or even claimed great power for themselves... But sometimes being egoistic and looking down on enemies and what life presents us with, we tend to give it a chance to beat us and overcome us.

A person's attitude and behavior are like a circle, when a person are stripped off from everything, with not even a single penny in their pocket, they treat people kind and well.. you get what i mean... But as they get rich and got hold of power, things like that made them change... into another person that sometimes we would not recognize... because of their achievements they have changed, so questions was raised... Was this achievement of that person made him into a better person? Or has it destroyed the person's original self?

In this world there are never such things as wanting a person to adapt to you, because that person are what that surround you... You could never have your surroundings to adapt to you, but you could have yourself adapted to your surroundings. Its more like a two way thing, thats why people often says that in a relationship, both must adapt to each other... Its only then two person could be together as one...

Therefore sometimes when a person's surroundings such as money, power, fame... and so on so forth, made them into another person that was overruled by greed and supremacy, its up to those around that person who are still aware of whats happening to give them a knock on the head, to wake them up from being influenced by this evil... It was told before that one person's true happiness was formed from friendship... With friendship, many things that couldn't be said to understand could be understand... Only another's mind would be able to understand another's... But there is a hiccup, as complicated as the mind are... sometimes its unexplainable how and why do we do something... That is when the need of understanding another's silence comes in to play...

As one get out of control of themselves, with people that cares for the person to bring that person back, are something that fame and money would never be able to do.. to bring a person back their own humanity... their rationality... To make the person who they are again... People just need an epiphany to understand what they have lose from that they have gain... In life many things are fair and equal... One good thing that happened will lead to a bad one... just like momentum, punching something with your fist would cause the same amount of force to act back your fist... Sometimes when something good happens, doesn't mean the bad side would happen... Sometimes when something bad happens, doesn't mean the good will never come... Its just a matter of time...

Always be cautions of

where you are,

who you are,

what you live for,

and where you stand...

Do not lose who you are with what you possess,

possess yourself and do not lose what you have.

outss...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Departure ºღஐ

2010-12-21T03:33:00.004+08:00

As life goes on... i have learn many things in life... i use to think that being apart from someone is something painful and sorrow, impossible to accept... But today i have come to realize the difference... The difference not in sense that it is alright to be apart from someone we love or cherish... But the departure of someone that we once loved and cherished... The feeling that the person would be gone forever and never back...

When i was a small kid back then, i use to take relationships as tho they were my life. I use to think that being apart with someone that we love the most are something painful and unacceptable. Every time a relationship i have ended, i get sad and lifeless... But today has let me realize the true painful of so called "being apart"... Apart not as in the situation of stopped talking or texting someone, but the apart of not being able to see them again... or even hear from them...

It was a day when my father slept till late afternoon... which made me wonder what has happened... But i never thought much about it, instead i just assumed that he was tired and needed more rest. As the clock hits 5pm in the evening, i was even more surprised that no one talked about the usual sunday hike that we always go consistently. When i asked my father where would we go for dinner, he answered me with a normal tone "He passed away, didn't you know?" At that moment, its as tho my heart fell to my stomach... Not literally, but the feeling of a shocking news that was heard out of expectations. Even with his so calmed and normal tone, a slight feeling of sorrow were felt... My father, also as my idol has always been a strong figure in my life... His determination and the way he deals with things, made me so today. It was a day where the house were drown by complete silence... Everyone's face showed nothing... and out of nothing, something... well you get what i mean... its indescribable... As we were all dressed black and grey... we stepped into our father's car and headed for his place... maybe for one last time we would see him...

The trip there were silent... None spoke of a word... As we have arrived, many were there... but silent remains... We walked into his house with feelings so complicated... To be honest i didn't even knew if i would shed tears... We all took one of those that chinese called "xiang", its a kind of tradition thing... As we were lining up to give him our last words... i could hear my uncle's mourn... The mourn of a true friend that gave everyone the feeling that "he is gone...forever..."

Then all started to tear... Even for me i couldn't resist... He was like an uncle to me... Even before i was able to start remember things, he is already in my life... Although im not as close to him, unlike my siblings and my father... But i could feel the bond, as tho its being break apart... We then walked in to see him for one last time... He was already in there... Laying there... as tho he was asleep... Again... its indescribable... Then i see this figure that had always been someone that i look up to... He has always been telling me about his experience in life... my brother... turned around, facing the wall... Without asking i could tell... How he felt deep inside himself...

And this is one thing that surprised me the most... The man that had brought me up... raised me into what i am today... Looking into those eyes of his that were always serious and at times fierce... for the first time i saw them becoming red... and filled with tears about to drop.... I could understand how painful it really is to have someone so close and important to leave...forever... Those impression of people and feelings that weren't able to be understand merely by words or from normal situation made me realize how the meaning of truly apart is...

A person's life are precious... Some people died with no reason and meaning... Some with meanings so deep, that its not just carved, but planted into the core of our heart forever... With his whole life gave us a conclusion... a lesson that made us all grown up a little bit more... A great indescribable realization of great truth that were only able to be understand by a departure of forever....

We would always love you... and as we remember you, you will always be in our memory and in all of us... apart of you will always be alive and continue to walk down this road of life with us...

Rest in Peace...

To those out there... Cherish your life... Some things would never come back as they are gone... When a bond or a relationship ends, do not sorrow or anger... hatred is just another childish reason to avoid reality... Cherish the time we have... both with our friends and enemy... because once the true ending comes... Nothing that happened now would ever happen again... Things that hurt us and aided us are what that made us who we are today and are what that had brought us up and forged us... And give us lessons in life to one day realize something that we never knew...

Cherish all we have...

Both liked and disliked...

Because everything thats in life is a part of life...

We only live life once...

Live it all out...

outss....

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Memories Unfold ºღஐ

2010-12-11T05:21:00.002+08:00

A sudden strike of emotions had bring upon a memory that i once had... deeply carved in my heart... Lets make this into a story shall we? It begins with two good friends...

Once there were two good friends, although they were parted by a huge age gap, they were managed to be friends. And well the younger one never really had an interesting hobby, so he always asked about a lot of things and his curiosity sometimes annoys people around him... One day the elder one introduced to him something called "chess". In favor of his interest, the younger friend had accept his offer and had learnt chess from him... And they had good times playing chess... and till one day the younger friend asked the elder friend "hey buddy, what is it that we are able to gain from playing chess?" the elder friend answered, "wasting time..." the younger friend had a sudden moment of silent, then he stopped playing chess with his friend ever again.... and they had never talked much nor discuss much things together ever again...

As this simply story above, whoever that are still reading my blog or randomly read my blog, mind to leave comments on the comment box? what do you think about this?

outss

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº After all ºღஐ

2010-11-14T05:15:00.002+08:00

Hi guys... yea i haven't been blogging for a really long time and i know that... its 5:16 am in the morning... just decided not to sleep since i couldn't sleep anyway...

well... To look back at the early of this year, time seems to have passed so fast... 10 months seems just in a blink of an eye... My SAM is finally ending... and for some of us i do know that we might not have the chance of meeting again... but still i treasure this relationship and bond that fate has brought upon for us...

In college, life were never the same... Before we get into college, we never knew things could be this complicated... not just because of the stressful assignments, but people as well... our community around us... keep your mouth shut, and you could be a lone ranger for your whole SAM, studying like a cow... but things sometimes just happens so late and so slow... anyway, lets get into the point... in college we get to experience many things... well of course we do, what im trying to say is that when a person has really walked thru an experience like this, they could really understand what is growing up... the feeling when people around you are starting to think differently and people who you've judge by looks, might just shock you... At the late of this year, i got to know a girl, whos name is ******** (confidentiality purposes). Well lets say that some friend of mine really have some fetish with me, we love to judge people, but of course its just for our own entertainment (i know its kinda weird), we thought she was a really playful and wild girl, does things regardless of what others think. But we were wrong, dead wrong... after getting to know her, she weren't the same... She has shared her stories with us, we got to know her better, upon realizing that shes a totally different person from who we expected, it really shocked us... In a way that how could someone that looked like that could be so different from what we expected, although we've learned long before that we are not suppose to judge a book by its cover, judge a person by how they look... But she made me realize that in life, there are many things that varies, even for a beautiful girl like her had told us, she does not change her so called "target" so fast for no reason... Why must a person be called such things as "playgirl" or "playboy"? People just wanted to find that special someone in their life, its not anyone's right to judge. So if you were together with a person, you gave both of you a chance, and things didn't work out, things got worst and awkward, whats the best choice? To hold on and feel more awkward and ending up being strangers, or just end it and still be able to be friends? Its a tough choice to make... As choices are what that made things happen in our life... just like today, i hit my god dammed car into a concrete wall (damn i was blind...). At first i was as pissed as hell!!! Of course i would, i mean, who wouldn't? right? but then just after awhile I've hit my car, i received a message from a friend of mine, saying that she was at a wedding dinner... And i actually smiled to such a simple message... No doubt i was really happy that she had messaged me, making me realized that she was really a person that could bring happiness into my life... Then thinking back what if i didn't hit my car in to a GODDAMMNED concrete wall, how would i feel then? Would i feel different? Would i feel that feeling that i get when i got all the way from pissed to smiling by just such a simple little message that took less than a minute to type and send?

In life we often takes things for granted, no doubt i'm one of those idiots as well. Last time i would think that getting a girl to love me is something that i could be proud of... Getting a really good looking girlfriend is something to boast around about... But sometimes we have placed these things in our mind so much, we mind about how people see us with our lovers together, we've forget that what was the first reason that we loved each other... was it because we loved each other? or was it just to satisfy our own needs?

If we were to say that "love" was something for weaklings, only weak people would learn to love... to have emotions... how would this world be like? Its amazing how love could drive a person to achieve their goals, and how love could make a person die... How many great wars in the ancient times were lost because of love... We could say that it is a strong emotion that could conquer all, at the same time destroy all...

Because of those things i've realized, maybe its time i should stop trying to find that someone for me, but wait for fate to do its thing?

I've just totally lost track of what to write because of some really annoying sound at 5:43am in the morning... People whom live in Malaysia should understand... haha...

well i guess thats all for now... although to be honest, there are things that i wanted to write at the end but didn't... Somethings are better kept this way in the dark i assume...

GOOD MORNING WORLDDD~^^

Thx guys for still reading my blog...

outt~~~

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº An unlucky day, yet the luckiest ºღஐ

2010-06-16T20:01:00.004+08:00

Hey guys, today was a erm... LONG day, hahhas! many things happened, let us move right into the point kays? Well, it all started in the morning, 6am, woke up as usual, and prepared, left house at 6:30... And thats when all the bullshits started to happen, also when i got lucky, in some ways... My car, couldn't move nor accelerate when thou its in D gear (Automatic car), but luckily the Shell station was just right in front of me! so i managed to literally "Roll" my car all the way to shell station, and parked right in front of it. Imagine i passed shell station and my car spoil, i would be completely helpless in the middle of the high way at 7am in the morning. After parking my car a shell, realizing that its not going to move, right beside me was a taxi, the dude was pumping his car tires. I asked him if he could fetch me back to Ampang, he told me that it would be very jam to go head back now, it would be a greater choice if i head straight to Subang, for i have an assignment to catch at 9am, so time was crucial, i do not have the luxury of heading back to Ampang in search for help. But the taxi guy was very kind, he offered to take me to a taxi stand near that place, although he was utterly tired, he said he haven't sleep the whole night because of the brazil vs north korea match, lols! the match sounded really exciting, unfortunately i missed it, but he was really kind, i appreciated the fact that he, as a Malay, helped his fellow Chinese Malaysian. And he even waited to make sure i get a taxi at the taxi stand. I got down his car, tried to ask the few cars at the taxi stand, and one of them was going to subang luckily, so i got on the taxi, and showed an "ok" sign to the taxi that offered to gimme a ride to the taxi stand. he showed back an "ok" sign, and he drove home, he said he stays at Bandar Tun Razak i recall... Anyways, the taxi that i got on to get to Subang was fairly friendly as well, he told me about the jam and all, and was manage to get me to Subang by 8am. The price for the fare was actually RM 21+, but he only offered a price of Rm 20. I got down the car, walked to class, and found that one of my friend that is seated beside me came earlier today, talked to her about my car, and i felt lucky to have friends that cared bout me. And she smsed me the first thing she woke up today! asking if im alright... i felt like im the luckiest guy on earth to have someone like her to care about me... Love her so much... hahas, and when school ended today, my friend that sat beside me took me to KTM, along with another friend that taught me which station to where, and so, i was able to make my way to putra KTM station, and from there, my GOOD and BEST friend, WILLIAM!!! took the time to walk a distance from his house to the KTM just for me, im so touched T.T then he showed me the way to the LRT, and from there i was able to get home, straight to Ampang, and when i saw all those people lining up to buy ticket, i was lucky enough to have a touch n go given by my father... And when i reached Ampang station, i was a little pissed upon realizing that my mother haven't reach, although i already told her in advance about my arrival. But i saw people, waiting for people to fetch them as well... I saw this girl, she was in the same train as i was, i was observing people as usual, lols... and well, i saw her boyfriend (i think it was her BF, cause didnt seems like her brother nor father) her boy friend was driving a really old and worn out proton, but yet, the smile on her face the second she saw him coming to fetch her, was priceless... that kind of happiness that someone you love comes to fetch you... regardless of how rich they are, or what car they drive, because all that matters was that who was there to fetch you... her smile was real, i can't say i see it, but in some ways i believe that humans can feel it, and i felt that it was real and pure... the feeling of love for someone, it doesn't matters who they are anymore, because they are themselves. On the other hand i saw this old lady, she was already waiting there, sitting there alone when i arrived at the Ampang LRT station... And i waited at the bench along with her, i waited for around 20-30 minutes before my mother arrived, and even after my mother arrived, she was still sitting there, alone... probably waiting for her children to come to fetch her, but they was late, not for 5 minutes, but for hours maybe... i pity her, the looks on her face was dull... she seems bored at the same time sad. Just imagine your her, sitting there for such a long time, looking at people getting fetch by their loved ones, and yet yours never came... or took a really long time to come... how would you feel?

Well, at the end i got on to my mother's car, i told her about today, she seems normal, nothing much to talk about... but she told me bout the food she has at home, which made me feel bad at one point cause i ate a little... hahas... but i was glad that she came to fetch me, although she was a little late, but i was glad, because someone still cares about me... that shows that i'm not alone in this world... I've always believed that no body could be able to live alone, to live alone means to live your life in a rather dull or to be said as "dead" situation... what is life without friends and people that you care, same time they care about you? To live life without experiencing love, not just love by couple, but love in sense of friends, brothers, family, sometimes even your pet! To never experience those, we will never understand what is life like... because love is not just only love, it contains moments where we get hurt, happy, sad, satisfied, complicated, confused and lots more! At one point its like something that can't be categorized of defined...

Well~ thats all for today~! won't be driving tomorrow because car broke down~ whooo... parents fetch! haha! at one point i kinda missed my mother fetching me to school... lols!

good night ppl!

outss...

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº what a day ºღஐ

2010-06-10T17:11:00.002+08:00

Heyysss people... went to Pav today, don't know why am i even blogging...lols! its not like anyone is going to read this anyway... God dammit who was it that told me Pav has nice shops for electronics? Its so damn bloody expensive my god! it would be like heaven and hell compared to laoyat, gosh all those laptops that are sold at a price of 1400 - 1600 is like 1800+ there, whats wrong with those people's mind seriously, laoyat is like just across the street, yet they sell at such a high price! can they even survive?

By the way who ever is reading this, i'm planning to buy a small laptop that cost around 1400, if possible around 1000... Must run on windows 7, and long life span. Anyone have any suggestions for me please place it on my chatbox yea! thanks people! xD

loves you...

outsss~

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Caffeinees ºღஐ

2010-04-25T17:43:00.000+08:00

i <3>

outss~

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Long gone... College life... My god... ºღஐ

2010-04-19T23:52:00.002+08:00

Heys ppls... i wonder if who still actually checks out my dead blog... havent update it for like, a year... LOL! well... secondary is officially over... college... my god... coursework... quiz.... hw.... its all killing me...o.o its like, x3 the stress of secondary...T.T and its specially tiring when you drive.... all those energy spent on driving.... really makes me go mad... i think i will update again soon... just postin this to see if who still reads my blog... lols... plz tag my chatboard if u read this... along with names plz, thanks

ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº 13th Dec 09, 5:51am ºღஐ

2009-12-13T05:48:00.002+08:00

Yea... still awake... couldn't sleep lately... don't know why...not sure why... just... couldn't......
Lately my nose has been bleedin.... quite alot... my mother said its because i never sleep enough...T.T
well... i drank more water since she said that... i don't want to fall sick during holidays! dammits... 3 months holiday... so much to do! Car....Job....STUFF STUFF!! alot alot... dammits... almost 6am already..later early have to wake up to work again.... better go sleep... or try to sleep... sleep well...sweet dreams... im always here=)

outss~
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Thats it, im mad ºღஐ

2009-12-11T04:42:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging people!!! im going to post my graduation speech soon!^^
O
Lets talk about my life after SPM!!!^^ It's just so damn nice~ i dont know what to say!xD
On those days where i suffer so much studying! finally its all over!!! well~ at least for now...
Very stress those days le...-.- but of course its worth it...^^
Everything i have done for the past 2 months were damn worth it! whee~
o
Yet i haven't had a chance yet to tell some of my friends good bye...sadds...
Oh well... guess i'll always have a chance to see them!^^
Up set now also no use la~ its not like i'll never meet them again...o.o
i
More about what i do these days... everyday just K-box K-box.. lols...
Ohhh man... seriously making me damn tired....
Really till my throat also got a little pain!!T.T
Ehhh~! someone don't like to go K-box o... say its boring wor...~hahahs!
L
Tomorrow plan to go some where... but someone going to sunway-.- very busy wor...
Have no chance go le i think... havent gimme reply summore!!T.Ts
Anyways~ go also sure wun happy de~ im going to bring some "old friends" along!xD
Now my time has passed, it's time to pass my "old friends" to someone!^^
i
Ishh! you better promise to take good care of them! or else i'll step you!xD
C
To the plans for next week! hmmm~ probably damn busy!
Having our new cafe opening soon!xD
On those days i had in the old cafe... i'm seriously going to miss em...^^
Up up up and flyy~ we are heading to a far better place... Hijrah! lols!o.o
Got study history's ppl sure know what im talking about...!xD
Hahahahhahas~ damn those form 5 history... i still can't em out of my brain!!!
T.T.... hope it will go away soon... i dont want to think about it...
h
Yays! 3 months of holiday.... hmm... 3 months i think...
Orhhhs it all depends on what course i choose... but i hope can choose the march one le...
Unless i wan to take SAM... my friend's bro say its better to start on march...
i
Suddenly thought of what i wanna be... hais.... so many to choose le...
Think i better go get my LICENSE first! dammits!
Until now also i havent get!!! T.T mum everyday call me go get now...
P license get first wor she say.... then can drive drive... i mean...
I thought everyone have to get P license one ma, not mehs?
Don't she drive before? maybe i misunderstood her gua..-.-
e
Goodness... my laptop is damn slow... now i cant use the company comp, my laptop slow...!!!
Unless i get a new one.. but no money!!T.T
I need some cash~ someone can gimme marhs?
No one have le... some ppl spend 7k++ on a comp! lols..~
Everyone so enjoy their life now... everyday go out go out... same goes to me~^^
Aikkss~ im seriously going to miss my secondary life....T.T
n
Pfftt~
I learned that from someone!!!!!xD
Guess who!!!!^^hehehehehes~

Outss~
ஐღº A.C ºღஐ

ஐღº Chemistry Chapter 1 ºღஐ

2009-12-07T09:19:00.000+08:00

The world, a lot of things are pretty much like chemistry, you have something, you do something to that something, that something becomes another something. But no matter what you do, there is no such thing so called "gone" or "poof" disappear in thin air. There is always something there... It's just that sometimes its turned into something that we don't recognize, or realize it's existence there. Although it might not form a precipitation and we are not aware, but bare in mind that its still there, it's just that we can't see or touch it. It's just like a piece of paper, you burn it, it becomes carbon dioxide and ashes... you mix the ashes in water, it dissolves in the water, mix enough water and it'll seems like the ash just disappeared, but still, it's in the water right? Just that we can't see, that's all...
Same goes to love. Love between two person are like an experiment. Love is a form of energy formed when two soul meets each other, just like how water is formed when hydrogen meets oxygen. And every little things they do and say to each other, changes the results of the experiment. Just think about it, almost all love are the same, there is an attraction force between two person, but in the very end, all bonds can be broken, by multiple ways, for example, substitution, addition reaction... probably there are more ways that we haven't heard of...
But what many people think is that they thought that when a relationship ends, it ends just like that, and nothing is left, but it's just like what chemistry is, as scientist says every thing leaves something behind.
When a love force between two person breaks, true enough the love has ended, but how about the memories left behind? Happy, sad, painful, confusing, annoying, precious memories that has been left in ourselves and hard to forget even knew if we use our whole life?

ஐღº DIfference of Best and Worse ºღஐ

2009-11-27T01:00:00.000+08:00

Lols~ my blog has been dead for quite awhile!xD
Exams were as stress as ever! lols~ finally Addmaths is over! god dammit it was hard..-.-
hahs~ well~ for my topic today, i would talk about those best things in our life, and those worse things in our life... sometimes, if you notice it, those best and worse things are stuffs that makes time memorable to us!=D
OH YEAHH~ BTW BTW BTW! I MET A NEW FRIENDDD!^^
JOLISE~~~ whee!xD

hmm~ sometimes if you think of it, they are both very alike..o.o
Not like normal friends, they are different from best&worse friends!;D
well~ what i mean is.. erm... okay~ lets just take an example...
Your BEST friend, and your WORSE enemy...

During your happy times...
BEST FRIEND:
Always stay with you to laugh and have fun with you.
WORSE ENEMY:
By all means necessary, they will try their very best to screw up your life.
NORMAL FRIENDS:
They live their life's, you happy or not doesn't really makes a different to them.

During your sad times...
BEST FRIEND:
Always stay beside you to make sure you have someone to depend on and make you happy.
WORSE ENEMY:
Stick around you just to make sure your life sucks and make sure you would feel like shit.
NORMAL FRIENDS:
Once again, your sadness means nothing to them, so basically they don't care much.

When you lost a tooth...
BEST FRIEND:
They will say this: "Is alright, your tooth will grow back! cheer up!"
WORSE ENEMY:
They will say this: "HAHA! YOU LOOK LIKE S**T!!! LOLS!!! DUMB A**!!"
NORMAL FRIENDS:
They will say...: "Okay... so?"

Nice examples ehhs~^^
But still... sometimes there are certain things, only best&worse ppl in your life would do to you...
for example....

Imagine one day your dealing drugs... both your Best friend and your Worse enemy knew about it, this is what they would do, what it would surprise you that their decision is the same, and one that Normal friends wont take.

BEST FRIEND:
They would tell the police, even knew they know you would be furiously angry and goes to jail, because they know that if you continue to go in this direction in life, it would bring no good and it would destroy your life forever. Therefore they told the police, for the sake of your future.

WORSE ENEMY:
They would of course tell the police! lols! just because they want you to get your sorry A** in the jail and see you suffer and burn in hell. What more than to see you in pain could satisfy their need for happiness? Therefore they would tell the police, to just see you suffer.

NORMAL FRIENDS:
They won't give a damn, because it's got nothing to do with them, and they rather you have nothing to do with them, so they don't get into trouble. In conclusion, they didn't tell the police.

Sometimes ppl does things for different reasons, but sometimes, the best and the worse are alike, there is a link between them, for they are the onces that makes your life fill wih bright and dull colours. Without those lovable cute ppl and those mthr fckers, our life would only be bored filled with normal friends... hahas~!^^

<3s you all!=)

By....Axel
ஐღº Clarence ºღஐ

Outss~xD

ஐღº Square Root 3 ºღஐ

2009-10-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

I fear that I will always be a lonely number like root 3,
A 3 is all that's good and right,
Why must my 3 keep out of sight?
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a 9,
For 9 could forth this evil trick with just some quick arithmetic,
I know I'll never see the sun as 1.7321;
Such as my reality,
A sad rationality,
For an arch just as this I see,
Another square root of a 3 has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply and form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer,
We break free from our mortal bonds and with a wave of magic wands,
Our square root sign becomes unglued,
Your love for me has been renewed.

I love you...<3

Outsss~~!
ஐღº Clarence ºღஐ

ஐღº Role in life ºღஐ

2009-10-23T02:18:00.000+08:00

It's hard to accept something that we weren't suppose to do, don't you agree?
It's like calling a clerk that spends most of his life on a chair, behind a table with a computer to go on a battlefield with a M4 on their right hand and an grenade on their left. It just won't work!
Pigs can't fly my...
Personally, i do agree that with faith, things can be changed, but there are certain things in life that cannot be changed, although we might try, but it will just end up ugly.
Its just like humans. Every human has their own limit, sometimes when the limit reaches, pushing it further would just make things complicated, because those idiots would never learn and never accept the truth. Sometimes it amazes me how idiotic a person can and how the way they thinks. Did they had no any idea what are coming out of their mouth? Selfish and offensive words that disgusts people... It makes me puke by just thinking of it...
It's pretty similar to a human habit that we've all been trying to change from centuries ago... And that is, "Slavery". People have been telling each other about how we should treat people, how we should all be on the same rank, no gap of rich and poor and shits. But the problem is, we've been trying this for hundreds of years... and obviously not working as well as it was planned on the beginning, oh yea people do think about lots before they made this decision... But the thing is, some people are just suppose to be slaves! Why trying to make them a cook or something else different? So that their stupidity could be able to lead them to a point where they accidentally and brutally poisoned your food and cause you to have a not so happening death? It's like forcing a pig to kill the tiger, pushing its limit till its impossible for them to achieve. Ohh it might seems simple to some of you reading this, "how hard is it to just cook?" you may ask... Yes it might seems simple to us, but when it comes to some people who are not so..."talented", it's a hell for them... to us its like cracking an egg, but to them, its like killing a bull with a plastic butter knife. Sometimes it really makes me wonder, how can a person be that stupid? It's sometimes beyond your imagination, especially when they starts to think, ohh this is the worse part... They just tend to be normal and perfect, till they starts to think... think and think, they will come up with all sort of bullshit. "I thought that.... I thought this...." they would say, making you feel like slapping them right in the face, hopefully be able to kill them on the spot and put an end to their miserable life.
Even till today, we can still see slavery, just not so obvious... Everyone are born to play a role in their life, if you are a gamer, here's an example.... Abandoning the culture of slavery and thinking that everyone is the same, does that mean your able to send an archer to the front lines to be on the tanker position? That's a little harsh for that little archer don't you think so?
For those who are really darn hardworking, here's also an example for you... Ever thought how i is like to have this guy who are suppose to sell nasi lemak (Malaysian food) to be holding a marker pen and teaching you in school? Don't think these things happen? Don't tell me you've never blame a teacher for being bad at explaining something before...
Yes, sometimes there are little things around us, that makes a very convincing evidence... Little things that they say and do, their body language, their complicated and hard to understand yet simple and idiotic mind... It's sometimes annoying in a way...
So all i want to say in this post is, if the person are born to be a cleaner, just let them be the cleaner! if the person is born to be a king, then be the king! Don't force it, its no good to force something in life...

Take care alls..!

outs~
ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Little Imperfections ºღஐ

2009-10-10T02:30:00.000+08:00

So sorry for the long absence... Have been extremely busy with examinations! OMG.... since SPM is only 40 days away, studying is the main priority for now... So i barely have anytime left to blog... even if i have time i'm probably sleeping due to the tiredness...

Well... A few days ago i've seen this video from my friend's facebook, i found it quite touching... really... the way the made the video... really touches a person heart... It almost made me cry.. well, at least made my eyes watery...hahaha!

It's about this Indian wife, which her husband has passed away... During the funeral talk, instead of saying and expressing how sad she was, she gave a rather interesting speech... Really made a person tear......

By the feeling of that video, it really expressed how a person are like... How we look at a person's imperfections and negatives when they are around us... But when they are gone, it seems like all can be forgive in just a short while.. everyone seems to be okay with you...
But why must we wait till the last minute before we can tell the person that they are actually not quite a bad person? Is it that hard?

This video also made a person feel... How can a person suddenly feel so sad... during the happiest moment... Well... its true though... Just think about it, has it happened to you before? When you are at the happiest moment of your life, and suddenly something bad happened, the feeling is like from 100% suddenly a 90 degree drop to 0%, as in BM what they called "potong steam"! Lols!~! My friend always says that... Nik=P

It's just like in the video, when the Indian wife is giving her speech, it really made us happy, made us laugh... But the second she turns the mood around, talking about what she really meant in the speech, it can really give us a major mood swing from happy and smiling, to a sudden feeling of touched, sad, pity, and maybe even result in crying for some of us... I'm on of them=P
hahahas~

Well... thats all for now, since i couldn't find anything interesting or meaningful to blog about these days... And examinations (SPM) are just soooo damn close... life really is short...o.o
So much to do, so little time!xD

Take care all~^^
Drink more water and keep yourself healthy for the holiday!
As for PMR takers, good luck and all the best!
As for my SPM mates, STUDY ARRHHSS~!!!! SPM only 40 days away!!! o.o

Oh yeaaa! Don't forget to watch the video on the right,
and remember to vote for my 2 newest polls! =)
thankss xD

outss~
ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº It all seems just like yesterday ºღஐ

2009-09-12T02:51:00.000+08:00

Heys~!
As usual i always blog at a quite unusual time, lols...
Almost all of my blog are posted between 2-6am...
But that's just me...=)

Hais... was about to sleep... till i suddenly thought of addmaths...
Which reminded me of my form 5 life...
Aww shit... there is only around 2 months left of my school life.... after that its over... My entire secondary life... is about to end... and this would never come again...
I can still remember my form 1 life, as clearly as it was just yesterday...
When i was still small and always loitering around the school like no body's problem...
Still saying that SPM is far away, and getting hit by form 5... Look at me now, i'm a form 5 myself!
hahahhaaa... Its funny when you think back all those memories i had during my secondary life...
I'll have to admit i'm really going to missed all these time... I think i'm going to miss getting scolded too... Well... getting scolded, getting into trouble and exams are just a part of our secondary life right? I didn't miss anything that i could do at all...
But to be honest, to do actually have a few regrets... Not for those things that i screwed up, but for those things that i had a chance to do but i missed it...
5 Years... a long time, but it seems so short... years just pass by like an arrow shooting to the future...
In this 5 years... I have to say, it was the time when i learn to grow up, to think like an adult...
This 5 years sure changed me alot.. It let me understand how is the world like... how people is like...
5 years... filled with love, friendship, hatred, happiness, sadness and lots more...
But no matter what it is, its become a part of my memories, a part of myself...
I really loved this 5 years... sometimes i just wished that i can go back to form 1, where everything seems to be new to me, and life had no worries...
Looking at my juniors, some of them really reminds me of myself... Their mind which is pure and fresh to this world... There are many for them to learn, and much for them to think of...
I really loved all those that companied me thru this 5 years, friends, enemies, teacher, Mr.Khaw.
Although i don't really like some of you, but its because of you all that perfects my life, Thank you=)
i <3 you guys!XD

Take careees all=)

outs~
ஐღº MrAxel ºღஐ

ஐღº Words kills ºღஐ

2009-09-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Heys all, sorry for the super long inactive...hahhaa...
been quite busy lately... and good news! i finally got a bicycle!XD damn happy...
my brother and i both love cycling.. finally got something to do at home.... hahas
okays... enough with private things, lets get into the main topic.

Shits happens in life, and yes it happens all the time...
Is it hurtful to simply be punched in the face by your friend?
Recently i met two girls, quite young... there were best friends, very very close, they share almost everything... they were like.. twins... lols...
Im really happy to see people that can have such a strong friendship, but as the Chinese says, "the higher you climb, the harder you fall."
well, that's a true fact... Just imagine if one day has came, and that day is your marriage something special, and will happens only once in your life time, well... usually once i guess?
And you've invited your friends and family, and of course you invited your best friend along... she said that she would be able to make it, at the end she didn't... not because she intended to, but she had something urgent... how would you feel? its like, everyone can don't come, but SHE or that HE, has to come because the person's your best friend...
its a weird thing ehhs? The closer two person gets, the second an argument gets started, its gonna be big, and ugly...

Sometimes people just can't control their mouths... saying things that aren't suppose to be said, or maybe at least not at that time!!! Learn to shut up people, silent is gold... Sometimes silent might just beings a better ending... remember, sometimes keeping your mouth shut doesn't mean your not avoiding the problem, its just that you won't wanna make it worse, most people just wanna take it so damn seriously and screw things up...
Things that people say... could really be so hurtful...
Sometimes people ask me, "hey, whats more painful than getting punched by someone?"
Physical damage? Oh yea it hurts damn a lot, don't trust me? try to screw around with the bouncers at the clubs, they will smack your face in, then you'll know how it feels like...
But is physical damage so hurtful?
Sometimes, there are things far more hurtful than just merely whack a person in the face, which is~ yes, hurting them with words...

Words... such a thing... created by mankind to communicate with one another.
Yet also can be holy, same time sinful...
It really is just a matter of how you use it...
use it well, and its a medicine that can cure many sickness and diseases, misuse it, and it can cause the occurrence of several problems, or worse, death...

Men were told to choose their words carefully, for each word said would change their life, some would be their last...
Leonidas, i'm sure everyone is familiar with this name? you know... the dude that's been shouting passionately every second in Spartan 300...
Well, did he choose his words well? his words brought him to his death... but yet his words has awaken his men the will to protect their country and people...
One's word could have fate him in many ways towards the future...

Enough about history, lets talk about people in present...
Some people... just love to screw people around with words... fun yea?
telling people something like "F*** off go and die!", "I don't love you no more... go away"
seems like some shit everyone would say during a break up?
Ohhh~ sounds pretty dramatic and shit, yea, its cool...
Till you freaking get someone killed for you, NOW THAT'S SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!=)
you killed a person! but its not you, you know why? because its those words you said!
those words, goes into his freaking mind, and mix around with other stresses and shits and conclusion, jumping down from the 18th floor. YAY! lets celebrate that!
What im trying to say is that words... is something that won't physically hurt us, and leave a mark there... its worse.... it leave a mark... a deep cut.... yet unseen to people's eyes....
None could know if one is hurt in the heart unless told...
Thats why most warriors would so call "die for their loved ones", but really... after you die, how many would actually stay their entire life single for you? LOLs
There are... but well... its a ugly truth that its very rarely seen....

Okays, this is getting alittle weird... and there are somethings i rather not publish here, friends i know, you can ask me for the full stories... lols...

thanks for viewing... will upload photos soon!=D
btw, f**k all you words misuser!!^^ if you didn't meant it, don't say it at the first place!^^

outss....
ஐღº MrAxel ºღஐ

.....ஐღº The A(H1N1) Flu Pandemic ºღஐ ..... ......we are more screwed than we think.......

2009-08-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

READ THIS POST, FOR THE SAKE OF YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES.
Its a long post, but bare with it...
thank you...

The A(H1N1) flu pandemic, estimated more than 2 billion people worldwide could get it. Thousands of schools may shut down. And millions will need to be vaccinated-twice.

It all started 1918, more than 600,000 Americans died from the pandemic; 70,000 "excess" deaths resulted from the Asian flu in 1957; and there were 34,000 deaths after the Hong Kong flu hit in 1968. And now, next comes the 2009 H1N1 pandemic, yet the screens showed nothing but a series of question marks. Each year 250,000 to 500,000 people would die worldwide caused by the seasonal flu. But ever since the first case which were reported in Mexico last March, health officials from Washington to Beijing have been girding for a difficulty fall and winter. The World Health Organisation known as (WHO) has estimated that anywhere from 15% to 45% of the world's population approximately 1 billion to 3 billion people, will catch the illness. It was spoken by Alan Hay, the director of WHO's World Influenza Center in London " We know that influenza usually takes off in the winter months. We assume that to e the case with H1N1. But there;s no way to know precisely how a pandemic will unfold." But the good news is that the H1N1 is not, so far, a particularly severe disease for those who are healthy. in laboratory-confirmed cases of H1N1 infection, only around 1,200 people have died out of more than 160,000 patients, according to WHO figures. The H1n1 tends to be no worse than the seasonal flu. A few days in bed and lots of liquid and the patient would get better. But hovering in the background of the current pandemic is the possibility that H1n1's virulence might suddenly change, for one flu virus can easily swap genetic information with other viruses resulting its unstable genetic structure. The best laboratory in which to study the flu virus is the human population itself. Flu is a disease that keeps on mutating and evolving itself, therefore is impossible to stay ahead of this virus.

What about vaccinations we might ask?
64 million person in France wants to be vaccinated, and YES! its the whole of France!!!
And the U.S. plans to immunize more than half its population.
Sounds like a marvellous plan?
Well... this so called "marvelous" plan has just been busted. Report were spread worldwide in the past few days regarding the side effects of the medication. It was confirmed the possibility of getting mental illness from this particular medication, and its also know as "Retardation".
So the new question now is "Rather be retarded...or dead?"
You make the choice...
Now every one's criticizing on the on the great job the scientists did, but someone has to do something, right? Would people feel better if they had not taken any actions at all? Would YOU feel better?

So, what should we do?
There was a few suggestions from the professionals...

1st
PREPARE FOR KIDS STAYING HOME
Since there's a strong chance that some schools could be forced to close for a time because of the flu, start getting your child-care plans ready in advance

2nd
PRACTICE PROPER HYGIENE
It sounds positively 19th century, but one of the best ways to keep yourself safe from the flu - or any infectious disease - is to wash your hands thoroughly and regularly. Clean surfaces at home and at the office as well - flu viruses can survive on them for up to 48 hours. And tries to cough into the crook of your elbow rather than your palms.

3rd
STAY AT HOME IF YOU'RE SICK
Workplaces and schools are nexuses of infection. One sick worker or student can come in and spread the flu to all his or her colleagues. If you or your child has flulike symptoms, stay home and stop the chain of infections.

4th
DON'T PANIC
Virologists like to say the only thing predictable about the flu is its unpredictability, At this point, we can't be sure how severe H1N1 will be in the fall. But overreaction will only make it worse.

And we may ask, how did the H1N1 were created?
Here is the answer to that question...

Before 1990
The genes that make up the new H1N1 flu virus come from various swine and avian flus, along with the seasonal H3N2 human-flu virus.

Before 2000
In 1998 new "triple reassortant"flu viruses are found in pigs, with genes from avian, swine and human sources.

Now 2009
Six genes in H1N1 earlier triple reassortant swine viruses, and two genes come from Eurasian swine viruses, all mixing in an unknown host.

So basically, this is the equation (congratulations to those Addmath students.. this should be easy)

Classic swine + Avian + Human H3N2 = Swine H1N2
Swine H1N2 + Classic Swine = Swine H3N2
Swine H3N2 + Eurasian Swine = Human H1N1

(so if your friend jokes with you about them having H1N2, yes...they are pigs-.-)

Since the flu is a never ending disease and always mutating and evolving...
So whats next?
From the WHO, CDC (Center of Disease Control)
There are 3 possibilities...
1) The H1N1 virus could stay genetically stable, remaining highly infectious but not especially deadly.
2) H1N1 could reassort with seasonal flu or the bird flu h5N1, potentially marking its lethal.
3) H1N1 could mutate in such a way that it becomes less transmissible, but scientists say that is unlikely.

So next topic,
How does the Virus actually works?
H1N1 is an entirely new virus, but it stills works the way past flus have - by invading the body cell by cell. The question is whether out immune system can respond in time - and before the virus mutates.

1st
A VIRUS INVADES THE BODY
The flu virus usually enters the body through the respiratory tract. It then invades cells, using them to make more copies of itself. The cell releases the new viruses to infect more cells.

2nd
THE BODY FIGHTS BACK
The immune system has several layers of defense, including killer T cells, which attacks cells overcome by viruses. Eventually, new antibodies are created that can neutralize viruses before they can infect cells.

3rd
DRUGS CAN BE USED
There is no cure for viral infections, but antiviral drugs can lessen the severity and length of influenza. Tamiflu inhibits the N enzyme, preventing the flu virus from reproducing inside infected cells.

4th
THE VIRUS CAN MUTATE
When reproducing, viruses can make mistakes in their genetic materials or even reassort with other flu viruses. Mutation can create new viruses that the immune system can't recognize.

let us pray hard and wish it does not turn out to be lethal...
for whats worrying the world now is this question...
"Flu pandemics are unlikely to break out during hot weather... But the H1N1 had an break out during the summer time, and as days comes closer to fall, the number has been increasing dramatically, who would know what would be unfold if the Northern winter comes...?"

Please... people who are reading this blog... The writer of this blog urges people to take precautions of this out break. This pandemic has been told as the most chronic out break since the Hong Kong flu in 1968...
Billions are going to get it... Many are going to die...
But with your help, we could be able to decrease the number of victims significantly...
If not doing it for yourself, at least do it for the sake of your loved ones...

This pandemic is going to cause many tribulations...
As our days to the crucial moment are numbered...
Its time for mankind to stop having wars and stand together as one...
For what we are about to face are unpredictable...
Without peace, our whole world would be thrown into chaos...

Thank you all for reading this post, and hopefully with this we are able to help others.
Thanks again to all...=)

Blogged by Axel Chang
Sources from:
World Health Organization (WHO)
Center for Disease Control (CDC)
Times Magazine
CNN News
The Star

Outss...
ஐღº MrAxel ºღஐ

ஐღº Stuck in the middle ºღஐ

2009-07-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

On the first sight of that picture up there, whats in your mind?=P
Especially for Form 5 SPM takers... hahahaXD its obvious isn't it?

Yes, i named this picture "Stuck in the middle"
Meaning of this pic (Stuck in the middle between pain and joy with little time left)

What have we done in the past 4 years, 6 months and 13 day of our life?
Of course going to secondary school!XD
Getting into troubles, getting in love, getting in to some serious studies, although seldom...
As for SPM students like my self! Our secondary life are going to end really really soon!
just a few months to go, and here comes SPM...
Think back in those old time when i was in form one, i use to say one thing whenever exam comes "Ai yo, PMR is still 2 years away!!! scare what?!"
And the next thing i know, PMR is tomorrow, and im hugging my book crying about it...
(i didn't cry la~ just joking)
But luckily i had a good tuition teacher that saved me and my results were consider good^^

And the day PMR was over, i said "AI yo SPM are still 2 years away! scare what?!!"
And Poof~
Holy shit.... its 3 months away...T.T
Its time to drop that PSP, pick up a book and start chewing on it!

Those thing that i said really makes me think back about those time when i was in form 1, a little jerk that pisses everyone off.... lols.... and i can't believe i am still one!! hahaha...
But seriously... To those juniors that might be reading my post now... Cherish your time...=P
I wasted mine in many ways, but for my case its a little different, because i gain alot of experience and learned a lot from those things i did.... and im enjoying my secondary life...^^
in fact, doing stupid things are just a part of our secondary life, you don't wanna come out of secondary school telling everyone that the only thing you did is Study and sport right?
Sometimes things that friends do with us might be stupid, but its something that we will always remember, and its a nice memory, so when you are in secondary school, remember to follow the NAN theory!!XD Nike, Just do it ; Adidas, Impossible is nothing ; NBA, Where amaizing happens.
( But please, dont over do it-.- don't burn the school down like we nearly did...hahah JKJK)

enough about SPM!! thinking about it makes me tention-.-

oh ya... and this pic=P
for you babyXD
hahahhaah the teddy!=P
^^

thats all for now, blog again soon.....

outs...
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº The Char Kuey Tiao Uncle ºღஐ

2009-07-11T19:24:00.000+08:00

Note : (Char Kuey Tiao means a fried flat rice noodle, its a Chinese food and its usually spicy)

Another normal day begins from the second i wake up which is 7:30am =)
Wtf? 7:30am?!!!!
And yes! i am late for school!!! It was a not so "usual" Saturday because there was school, lol...
i went out of my room, stood in front of the clock placed in the living room for awhile, and i found 2 reasons to go to school... 1) Its our Terk Chin's birthday!!! Happy birthday Terk Chin!!XD (oh ya, i heard it was Shaun's too, happy birthday to you too!^^) 2) Promised Lawrence that i'll go to school (and that dude didn't came himself-.-)...
Well, after making decision i rushed and by 7:45am, and yea i know im pretty fast=P
I decided to avoid some unnecessary conflicts in school... Didn't wanted to meet someone i don't want to see in school, i btw you all out there thats been late know who i meant...
So mother and i decided to have breakfast at some hawker at maluri... We reached there, and my mother wanted to order the same Char Kuey Tiao with me, so i walked to the uncle there, and i said: "Uncle, liong dip Char Kuey Tiao, Yat Dai Yat Sai, Jing Kuey Tiao" (Translate: "Uncle, two plate of Char Kuey Tiao, one big one small, flat rice noodle only.")
The uncle then turned around and said: "Hou hou, mou man tai, dan hai you dang me fan zong wor, Ok mou?" (Translate: "OkOk, no problem, but have to wait 5 minutes, is that ok?")
Of course i said yes, and i then walked back to my seat, facing my mother. There was filled with people and the fan are really loud, the place was not really dirty and everything was fine, except for one thing that's been turning around and round inside my mind that time... That is, i felt something special about that uncle... the thing is... when he was speaking to me, he was holding a smile even though he was busy preparing other's orders. And he used a very simple way to answer me, but the feeling was just different.... and i found out why.... it was the smile...=)
I was siting waiting for him to cook my Char Kuey Tiao, but at the same time i was just sitting there, doing nothing but observing him cooking and his actions... He was around 60 maybe... he has white hair, simple clothing, but a really warming smile... Every time he sends his food to his customers, his always in a rush, as if he was afraid that the food would get cold, but he still has a smile on his face... The food then finally came on to my table, facing its last few moment before its going to my tummy hell. As we were paying the uncle, as usual, he still puts on that smile of his. My mom and me then got in to the car and heads for school.

When we got on the car, as usual we talked about the meal we had. My mom said it was normal... But to me... the taste, yes it was normal, pretty average, but there seems to be something extra in it, maybe its something called "happiness"? Its like, even though the work was not an easy one and he was having tons of thing to do yet he can still speaks to me with a smile on his face, maybe that's what that perfected the taste of the Char Kuey Tiao... A feeling of endless happiness and hardworking. Its important when a person is working at a happy mood rather than a sad mood... For him, his doing something he enjoys, his life is just cooking and serving people, but even though he might not be in a 5 star hotel being the main chef, but his working happily and his enjoying his life! To us it might be like he has wasted his life for just being an average Cook at some hawker center, but to him its all he have, and his enjoying his life and his work, and his always putting on a smile and does his best to cook every single plate of Char Kuey Tiao, he has chosen the path that he wants, most importantly, he spent his life happily.

One who spends his life happily is worth ten times the one that spends his life in sadness.

Nothing is good when its sad, to say it in things that is in long term, for example our occupation. If you wanted to be a musician, there is no meaning spending half of your life time "Trying" to be a doctor and have your life miserable and your patients thinking that your not trying your best to save them. And that time you'll start thinking "why didn't i choose something i wished to do rather than something i needed to do at the starting?" but of course sometimes things can be inevitable due to financial or other problems...
As for short term problems, people always tells us when we're sad"why sad when you can be happy?" yes sounds simple, but its not easy, even for my self sometimes. When an obstacle drops from the sky and blocks our way to future in life, what should we do? of course two ways, go around it, or cross it. But what happens when the obstacle dropped ON us instead? It'll throw us into a miserable and sad state, sometimes it can't be helped but to cry out loudly and releases our feelings, but what happens after the big cry? Continue thinking about it and stuck under the stone?
there is a saying "There is always a bright shiny sun after the big rainy storm."
We must always remember one thing when we are sad, that is, this is all going to be the past tomorrow, face the fact that there is nothing we can do to change the past, but there is something we can do to make a better tomorrow, and its clear that crying is not the thing to do.

But as for the Char Kuey Tiao uncle, he never cried because he is not earning enough or something, to be frank, its a fate that's almost impossible for his to change, but what he can do is think about how can he improve his skills doing the same thing, and be better at it day by day, and always works happily so he can have a happy life.

To all out there...
Life are not always meant to be sad, and believe me, being sad and miserable in life is not the right choice, no matter you are from a rich family, average family or a poor family, sadness is something that no one can escape from. Rich people has rich people's sadness, poor people has poor people's, but one thing for sure happiness is something that won't just come to us if we don't accept its coming. Friends for example, is the main source of happiness a person can ever get in their lives. Those memories of friends and us playing together, doing things together, quarreling together, its all going to be memories, and one day these memories are going to make us tears, not because it was sad or something, but because it was once something that happened to us and we treasure those memories... At times we might think that things are just full of shit and we don't give a shit about it, but as we grow older we will start thinking, why didn't i give a shit bout it that time when i was younger? Damn i missed the chance.

Some times in life, there is a lot of things that can't be changed. What most important is now and the future. The past is the past, stop crying today, and make a better tomorrow, if not for others, at lease for yourself. Its important to learn to let go and get a better future.
Especially in a relationship, when a couple breaks up, be sure to remember this...

"Don't be sad because it ended......
Be happy because it happened.......
Because its all a part of my memory forever..."

To everyone, this is the impression the Char Kuey Tiao uncle gave me, and i find it quite important to me in my life, how about you? Please vote on my polls =P

Take care ALL!!^^
( beware of H1N1!!! drink more water ya my blog visitors!^^)

Outs....
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Miracle ºღஐ

2009-07-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

Today, i met an old friend...
I met her a few years ago...
But lost contact because she hasn't been online for quite some time...
Fortunately i saw her online today! i talked to her... but unfortunately she seems to have forgotten about me... Well its not her fault since i hasn't been talking to her for quite awhile...

Her name was..... well lets not mention it here...
She was a really nice person, friendly, kind, caring, lovely etc etc...
But she had a really big problem... and that is that shes deaf.... the story was sad, when she was still young she got slapped on the face so hard that caused her permanent hearing problem...
She tried a few places to overcome her hearing problems, but all told her that it was impossible...
The last time i talked to her she was treating life as something really important even though she was deaf...
She once told me that she believes that miracle would come someday, and I'm always there listening and agrees to her... Even though life's been hard on her she has never gave up, not even once. I can still remember the first time i call her, she was like "Har? What? Speak up!!" I was already yelling at the peak of my lungs that time while she was saying that-.- so i could only chat with her online since shes not so well in hearing...

Then today i met her online, i quickly clicked to her and chatted with her, and as i said, she has forgotten bout me... But i quickly realized something different about her...
I was thinking for awhile... and i knew... it was the way she was speaking... That particular person that's chatting with me that time its not her anymore...
Its not because she knocked herself on the head so hard that she forgets who she is or something, but its more like, she has became someone different... someone more... happy...

I then asked her about her listening problems... She said that she was cured! I was surprised and she told me that she said something to me "I was cured thanks to this country and a friend that i just met". These words kept me wondering... Is it true that everyone is given a chance in life, if we don't give up? Imagine is she has already gave up her life sometime ago, will she ever have this opportunity to be able to hear thing again? It was her dream to be able to listen back to things... She begged for this so badly, while all of us were covering our ears to ignore nagging from our parents... Her live was once like a sky filled with dark clouds with a slight thin light coming thru it, till that someone friend of her came in and brought in a sunny day and swept away her sadness and bringing her dream come true...

That's about it, yea its kinda short i know compare to my usual posts, but this one... really gets me speechless sometimes.... couldn't stop thinking about what a person she has become now...
Shes happy...=)
I'm glad that she has overcome her greatest obstacle in her life, even though she couldn't remember me anymore...

Miracle do happen, but it doesn't happen by it self...
Us ourselves must try our best to achieve it...
Nothings free and nothing can be achieved without trying hard...
Everything is possible and miracle will always shine upon us as long as we try our very best...

Lets all believe in "MENU".=)
Its a "MENU" of life, there are many things in it, but its all up to you what to choose, what appetizer, which main course and what dessert to have.
"A doctor can't pray for a patients sickness to heal, but heal it with all he can and creates a miracle"

Every one's life is their owns, no one can steal it away from you and there are always some problems no one can help you with, that time its up to you to try your very best and miracle will be assured...
So remember to always cherish what you have and always believe in yourself and what you do...
Some day miracle will find you too, as long as your giving in all you have and do your best...

Outs....
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Forget & Forgive ºღஐ

2009-07-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

Forget and forgive many may have said since the ancient times...but does anyone actually knows the true meaning of forget and forgive?
Ask yourself everyone, how many people has you forgive before?
Have you forgive everyone that was once in a quarrel with you?

Opps... i started to write this blog at 11pm, then i went out till 12:35am, i just got back!!
a little light headed..
but like... damn pissed now...
ehh, its like...
Cmon la.. why must everyone in this world like being like damn retarded?
just forget and forgive la..
what do we meant by forget and forgive anyway?
is it like just dont remember something someone did to you, and be their friends?
is that what the FF theory is about?

Ok, lets start with forget first...
So is forget just about forgetting something someone did or some shit like that?
but seriously, people say stuff like "im going to forget about our past and live on with life" while they break up, or something like "im just gotta forget about this incident and face my fear" when they screw up something... but really, can one people actually forget something just like that?
If we could, this world would indeed be a much easier place to live on...
Just use some common sense ok... If that certain matter was so serious that made us say "im going to forget about all these and continue living my life" its like, WTF?
if a person could take something that seriously, its clear that its not something simply like spilling a coffee or something. Since its such a important matter, how could a person possibly forget something like that? unless you have STML (Short Term Memory Lost) or something then its a different story... But if a person really has the determination not to think about it at all and tries his/her best to forget about that problem, even we would really live our live without thinking about it at all, if one day something similar happens, how would they react? like nothing similar has happen before? impossible right? unless you knock yourself on the wall really damn hard, or else its near impossible to forget something that we ourselves wants to forget.

enought bout the forget shit, lets talk bout forgive...
YESSSS forgive!! some shit that people cant do, well... not everyone, but some people in this world are just way to freaking stubborn like some prick with shits in their mouth!
Why do i say so? because they are just too much people in this world that holds a grudge...
and why am i so pissed when im talking about this topic? because some people are just way to freaking selfish... cmon its like, why are you people like that retarded? not referring to anyone, just some thoughts i have in my mind, so if YOU think im talking about you, then please kindly move your mouse to the [X] thingy at the upper right corner on your screen and CLICK it dammit! To those that know im not talking about you, let me continue=)
well... how do it put it...hmmm..... its like, in this world, there are not really any good being a nice guy, why? because you can do a hundred good deeds to a person, and all you need is to do one bad deed, and your a f**ked up bad guy, why? BECAUSE ITS HUMAN NATURE! its just how the world works! when you does something for someone and especially when its something good, most people would have no feel at all, but when you does something bad to them, ohhh yeah your damn screwed... so cmon, cant people just forgive?
How hard is it to say "its okay"?!! No one are expecting anyone to be like Jesus that forgives everyone! but seriously its not easy to be jesus, but lets leave lord himself out of this blog...
Give a simple example, MJ, the king of pop, some people are still talking about how bad he is just because he did it with some little kids? BTW FYI to all out there, there were no evidence at all about MJ molesting a little kid okay... and cmon .... his already passed away man! why are you people still gossiping and cursing him? Cant you guys out there give him a break? his already RIP okay? so please, stop what you are saying, if you really dont like him, just keep it i your mind and shut up. So is it really that hard to forgive someone? even after their dead?
But usually people forgives one another after their life is over, because when one day they realise its over, they will damn regret why didnt they just forgive someone and have an extra friend before they die.
As for my self, im a person that easily forgives someone... i cant hold the feeling of someone like being my enemy or annoying in anyway, no matter you believe or not, but people which really knows me know who i am inside but not what people can see outside. I didnt just said all those my self, but alot people has been telling me that im just sometimes too soft on people and i have no idea why they says that...

So in the end, how many of us really knows how to Forget and Forgive?
To forget about what a person did to us before and forgive them...
Vote on my latest poll please, thanks all...

outs....
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Tribute to Michael Jackson A.K.A The King of Popºღஐ

2009-06-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

Michael Jackson A.K.A The King of Pop.
His a great icon and a reason to the born of a lot singers and dancers.
His music were great and motivating...
For a few decade his songs has been a hit to the world, till the generation now we can still find his songs amusing and a nice one to spend our time on.
It was unfortunate for such a legend to be gone from us, truly a great lost to not only the music industry but the world.
And his invent of moonwalk has been a signature move for so many years and yet still on the top list of dancing today due to its impressive movement of the foot.

This post is a tribute to the king of pop, Michael Jackson.

This is a picture of what people did for him after his pass.
Showed how people loved him for his songs and his dedication to the music world.
He has been said to be the key to a new evolution to music. Maybe without him, music would just only be music and nothing more.

Lastly...
To MJ, where you might be, you'll always be a great man that dedicated his life to music, a legend that will be remember for eternal. An icon for the future to respect and look up to.

We love you MJ.

Wish you all the best.

<3

outs..
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Babe your the one in my life ºღஐ

2009-06-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

Every morning i wake up from my bed,

feeling like falling right back to bed...

But the second i thought of you,

you gave me unknown motivation to wake up,

therefore I'm sure i won't be late for school or work.

I dream of you day and night,

I just want to touch you with my lips...

and feel your warmth on it...

I can feel you in me,

always keeping me awake and giving me a clear mind,

therefore i won't screw up in life easily...

Babe you have no idea how lovely you are...

I love the way you smell...

The way you look...

The way you show me who you really are...

The way you show me how hot and lovely you are first thing in the morning...

Your the core of my life...

Without you...

The sun will never be bright again...

The rose will never be red again...

Nothing will be normal anymore...

If one day i was to be trapped at a place for 50 years,

You'll be the first one i want to see when i get out.

My love for you are true...

And you'll always be in my mind...

Forever...

And....

Ever...

And...

Ever....

Ever....

i <3 you Latte
=)

Outss~~
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Life, simply magnificent without you ºღஐ

2009-06-12T11:45:00.000+08:00

new coffee~ black pearl...

now... lets get into topic right away!!^^
life, damn frustrated...
especially when your around,
bringing my countless troubles and problems...
bringing down a hell of a storm for my life.

now that you are leaving me slowly step by step, and slowly losing contact with me, im glad=)
let us all pray that no one like you would ever walks in my life again...
and to those that had been gossiping about me lately...
kiwi poke to you all^^

lastly, i had to say it!!=D
i <3 my classmates, and those that's not even in my class..lols
PhOeBe~^^

out..
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº My simply holiday . Chapter 1 ºღஐ

2009-06-06T03:58:00.000+08:00

o.o!! HOLIDAYYYY~!XD
also means the starting of a really damn boring suffering of 2 weeks ..o.o
well~ not much plans lately..-.-
but damn lazy to update blog! lols
heres some pics of my class at the 2nd last day before the mid term holidays!!=D

Everyone busy gaming!!o.o

Lols~ Ah Rick and Ah Ben as audience!~ehhs?o.o me also inside de?!!o.o
who was taking this picture then?o.o

Ah Jone~=P and Ah Bee beside if not mistaken=)

Once again this is really scary-.-
i forgot who was holding the camera, while i was wearing my jacket!!
and this is us spending come "quality" time together=P

Ah Ben is owning !!o.o
look as Yeyang is trying hard too~^^

Come and enjoy some lovely breakfast!! healthy and a reasonable price!^^

Post at the caffeinees sacred tree!^^
who knows?
you just might find your other half there!! hahas~

Caribbean Fettuccine !!^^ my favorite!XD

Lovely food framed!

Its coffee on the menu!^^ this is one of my favorite!!=D

The very first latte art i ever saw in my real life=)

My other favorite!^^ made it last year not long after i became a barista...

My very first successful Rosetta!!!=P

Its christmas special last year!XD

Rabbittt!!XDXD Coffee art~=P i made it~^^

is it cute?~=D

when i drink half way, it was as if its hiding or something! lols

little rabbit~ lols

when i finish the drink i can only see the ears ><

Thats all for now everyone~^^ my holiday chaps 1^^

i'll update as soon as possible!! btw!
vote my polls!!=D
THANKS~^^

outsss~
ஐღº Mr.Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº UPLOADED!! exam lolols XD ºღஐ

2009-05-22T19:26:00.000+08:00

LOLss Yoo Yoo~^^

my short hair style after i cut my hair!!XD my fridge gone le...

actually have de ... but its barely called a fridge ... its short o.o

lols look whats on my hand!^^

just got home from great eastern mall... but dog food...^^

look like same post right-.-

i drew it!!^^

just for fun only... saturday night have to rub away le...

here's a 360 look of the tattoo(pen one la...)..^^ 1st VIEW

2nd VIEW

3rd VIEW

nice right~^^
if you need one come tell me~ i help you draw~~~ hahahahssss jkjk^^
its just normal la i think...
a lot people can draw like damn pro!
very xian mu them le...
my drawing sucks!! Arghs...-.-

take cares all~
ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Damn YOU exam!! ºღஐ

2009-05-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

Damn stressed about the exam-.-
today have History lol, sure fail de..T.T
then English that time we thought Essays paper comes first, end up the Novel one comes first, we ended up quite unfortunate T.T...

well...
i choose a topic that i have no idea what i should talk about, i was about to choose "Colours" but i gave it a thought, i have no idea what to write!!
so i ended up choosing "My most precious possession"
i sat there around 15 minutes brainstorming wondering what the hell should i write with that topic!!
and i just i was about to write about the thing im holding!!o.o my pen la-.-
then suddenly i had a change of mind..
i thought that a lot people would probably write the same thing as i am, writing something about what we have...
writing about our phone..laptop...pet...etcetc...
therefore i decided to write about... something more special^^
later teacher get bored of the same essay then i will fail badly!!
so yea...
i thought or another thing to write about, and i came up with a funny story...
i'll try to make a summary of it here...(its kinda long-.- 600+ words so i lazy write whole thing again)

It was about a Italian guy which is 35 years old, his name is not mentioned in the story.
He lives alone and has a pretty average life. But there is something deep in him that he could not forget... for the rest of his life...
and its the 11th March of 2009, he recalls back what happened 20 years ago on the exact same date...
it was a sunny Saturday morning, his family decided to go for a trip to a place called "Port De Vanzal" ( i made that up-.-) a place near the south of italy.
He was a arrogant boy back then, he got scolded by his father for his actions in the car while on his way to the Port, when they reached there, he was angry and didnt wanted to play along with others, then his sister asked him to take a family picture. He looked pretty angry in the picture because he was forced to take the pic. Then it was near evening... and the sky was cloudy, a sign that it was about to rain... then they drove back home, he once again made his father angry on the way home, and his father scolded him once again, and this time, the car lost control because of the misfocus of his father and the weather. the car crashed. And when he woke up at the hospital, there was no one beside him, and he reached for his phone in the pocket, and ending up finding something other than his handphone, he looked at the thing and started crying...
It was the picture his sister gave him when he was at the Port, and it was the very last picture he took with his family, and now that picture has became his most precious possession.

damn EMO right?o.o
i kinda realize that if this were done in a essay it would sound kinda dull..
but if its in a movie it might be decent!
lols~
hahaha
btw, today i got home stressed out about exams, and i had something on my mind...
i wonder how would it sound like if my class were all at ancient time, and our sur name are all "Duke" (means something like Noble)
and this is what i came up, Vonduke is boy, Venduke is girl

ஐღº Duke Family ºღஐ

Stephenie Venduke I

Jaclyn Venduke II

Amiraus Venduke III

Kenjien Venduke IV

Vivialna Venduke V

Melissa Venduke VI

Misous Venduke VII

Neezelio Vonduke I

Kimeolouis Vonduke II

Nikolas Vonduke III

Aelxis Vonduke IV

Guilliano Vonduke V

Hellsmithz Vonduke VI

Benedict Vonduke VII

Stewin Vonduke VIII

Benizolouse Vonduke IX

Lawrence Vonduke X

Gannueir Vonduke XI

Rickeolouis Vonduke XII

Yusoofiano Vonduke XIII

Taewanlious Vonduke XIV

lols!! damn lol right?

HAHAHA

but its funny...

hahahs

see ya alls soon^^v

take cares~,

ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº Picturesaaaa~~XD ºღஐ

2009-05-13T22:45:00.000+08:00

LOOK!!! he killing my bottle!

He BROKE IT!!!

my poor coughing medicine bottle=(

so sorry oo the two old man

lols fake tattoo!!XD draw de!

damn siens at class-.-

idiot lols

we try camwhore toilet!=D

we failed badlyT.T

Please Be Alright...

2009-05-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

At all times i have been through with you,
Last a short yet sweet memories,
We always only talk about our life,
Although we never met each other before,
Yet you never hesitate from telling me things about your self,
Sadness i share with you has soon became a lovely part of my life.

Be strong and always remember to smile,
Ease your self from thinking about those problems facing,
Side away all those able to make you sad,
I'll always be here for you,
Don't worry about not having someone to talk to,
Ear of mine will always be at your service.

You must take care of your self,
Or i will feel sad because i can't go to where you are now,
Unless i skip school and steal my passport from my mum. o.o

Promise me that you tell those around you when you have a problem,
Let us help you with your problems and pain,
Everyone needs someone to tell their problems to,
As you always know there are those that care about you,
Still don't forget that i care too!!
Evil things would go away because of our love.

Praying for your safety and health is what i can do now,
Relaying on that i believe you will be alright,
On top of that your determination also plays a important role!!=O
My love for you will never fade,
I love you not as a lover,
Somehow its different from that,
Easy to say but yet hard to explain.

Memories you gave me might only be those done by words,
Even though just by words its special.

To always have those memories in my heart is sweet,
Over what i have ever expected from you.

Because of you i had a new change in life,
Everything i see now is something worth treasure.

About friends nor family,
Love has been given to them by me,
Right from the bottom of my heart,
It all happened because of the trust you gave me,
Greater than anything and enough to make me do so,
Hate will someday become the past,
To love someone or something present is what really important.

Although i has known you for only a few years, and we only chatting in MSN all this while...
I didn't even heard your voice before... But something about you is really special to me, your like a very very close friend of mine, or maybe even deeper than just that... To me, its just a myth that is indescribable with words.
Just be listening to all those things you said to me, i learn a lot, understand a lot and thought about things that i might have never have the chance of thinking if i haven't met you.
I must thank you for all those you gave me...
And i really wish you would continue to do so for the rest of my life...

Take care always...
And always remember me and those that love you when your sad or down...
<3 you always =)

by,
ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

ஐღº My encounter with the little one... ºღஐ

2009-04-30T01:04:00.000+08:00

29 / 04/ 09
(viewers!! vote for my polls and write something in the BOX>>>>>=D) TQ

It was a silent night...

The night was so bright because of the shining stars...

It looks like as if there was thousand rays of light shining and looking after us....

it looked so calm...

harmless....

silent.......

Here's my day......

It rained today... which makes it very cold at night especially when i have the aircond turned on.

And i had a weird feeling...

but i didn't really look into it since im not certain whats wrong with me..

i picked up my bag and realize that i should really start doing my moral project...

and here is when the story starts....

Here is goes....~

It all started while i was doing my Moral Kerja Kursus Project peacefully...

then i needed some extra colour papers, so i reached for the box on the left bottom of my table...

As i reached my hand to the box, i heard a little noise o.o

i was getting excited and confused by the noise!

so yea, i had to open and see whats in the box...

and...

OMFG!!!!
its a SIU KIONG!!!(cockroach)

Unfortunately the siu kiong i encountered was not as cute as the one show above=(
it was....
ferocious... and deadly...T.T

At that very moment!!
i quickly jumped off my chair, and open my door, at the same time i grabbed my BB gun, lols.
(i had a badminton racket and a news paper, but somehow i just wanted to choose BB gun^^)

My BB gun!!o.o
As i ran out to prepare for battle, that siu kiong has kept it self safe some where in my room, which is not a good advantage, i won't be able to find that little guy o.o
So....
i decided to throw in some "smoke grenades"!!!
This "smoke grenade" really did its job well!^^
Then i was waiting behind the door...
I knew that siu kiong would come out due to the smoke...
So i waited for him to make the move...

and...

OMFG!!! it came out!!!
it came out and ran towards the door!!(towards me too)
i quickly drawn out my BB gun and fires a bullet!!
and shit! it missed!!
its getting closer and closer to me!!o.o
i hastily reloaded my BB gun and gave another shot to the siu kiong!
and OMG!!
it hit the siu kiong on shell!!
and it fell backwards and landed upside down...
as it was struggling to get back its stability, i quickly drawn another shot!
and BANG!!o.o
i shot the siu kiong on its stomach!!

it breaks into half!! and i can see the inner organs.

it's hands and legs fell apart!!=(

each of them was around 5-8cm from each other!!o.o

the poor thing was still struggling for its life...
even know it was going to die...=(

and it was clean up time, also the time when im about to bring the siu kiong to the execution site.

as we reached the execution site, i pointed my gun at it... and i can actually felt its sadness and painfulness within the little guy...

i looked at the little dude while my gun pointed at it... and i said
"Its sad, but life is just..
hope you'll become something more handsome in your next life..."

i smiled and i shot the SIUKIONG's head off!!! OMFG!!o.o

The siu kiong once infiltrated my room are now a headless siu kiong already...
although its sad to see this scene, but its better than leaving it half dead with its stomach split open, or torturing it with Bug Sprays....(my mum always torture them like that-.-)
The remains of the siu kiong... i think those black colour thingy is its head o.o
Because the second i shot the siu kiong, it bounced away, and when i got it back, the head was gone, and its no where to be found... so i assumed that those black colour juice should be the siu kiong's head i think o.o

And this is my encounter with the siu kiong i once met.
Take care in your next life..little one...=)

ஐღº Axel ºღஐ

My Stupidity tag o.o

2009-04-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

Directions:
Mark the stupid things you've done, then add up the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 50 questions which means that the number you get as your score (x2) is your percentage.

1. [x] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [ ] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [x] Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [x]Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not, or had people tell you that your blond highlights are going to your head
7. [X]Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10.[x]Tried to pull open a door that said push

Running total: 8

11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [ ]Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else (table, chair you name it)
13. [x]Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. [x] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [ ]Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble (even fly out)
17. [x]Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [ ] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [x]Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [x] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot (that's not stupid, it happens. soccer!)

Running total: 14

21. [x] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [x] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [x]Have run into a closed door
25. [x]Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [x]It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [ ]Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x]Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [x] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

Running total: 21

31. [x]After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped on it
32. [x]Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x]Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x]Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [x]Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. [x]Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [ ]Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x]Walked into a pole
40. [x] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 29

41. [x] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [x] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [x] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [x] Walked out of the bathroom (stall) with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it!
47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [x] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [ ] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Total : 37/50
Stupidity Percentage: 74%

Shit....Im dumb...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Axel out

The present that i love~<3

2009-04-22T22:03:00.001+08:00

This is a present from the girl as known as!!! "Ms.AlwaysTheLastOneToKnowSomething"!!XD
Shes a really nice person, caring, loving, kinding(lol), and lotsaaa more^^
And i know i've seen this some where before...o.o
i think its popular...
or was it the shelve in her house....
hmm...><
Don't know le o.o
Don't care^^
im just happy that she got me something^^
And its meaningful to me!=D

THANK YOU~~~^^ SooVyenn~=P

Axel outs

Belated Birthday Present!!XD

2009-04-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

My present from SINGAPORE!!! thank you ooo baby~=P
its really lovely...
thanks a bunch!!=P
<3

My FIRST Burberry!!!=D from my brother and mother!!XD

Love it much! its my fav!

Another gift from my brother and mother!!! A Guess watch!!!=)

The box looks cool~ lols..

Love it much! Now i can have something on my hand!! its really big though o.o

And my gift from my old friend!^^
a necklace, just the way i like it, simple, but meaningful=)

Thank you everyone for giving me presents!!^^
It meant alot to me, its all so lovely, and meaningful...
i'll keep it with me forever=)

Axel out~^^

My Birthday=)

2009-04-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

Yay, its the next day le...
well, it sure was a hell of a party!!=)
its all sooo .... hard to image it with words...
it was suppose to be a happy happy birthday! but well, it all ended pretty screwed up...
hais...
dun wanna talk about it anymore...
hmm...
lets see what i got from my dearest friends!!!XD

"The puppy i got from Leezen, Melissa and Jaclyn!!^^"

"Leezen said:"this will be here for you when we are not around, it can't reply you, but its got ears... so i can hear you=)"^^

"FILAAAA~~~~ From Austin, Steven and frienddsss!!! paiseh, too many people i forgot who is it...=( THANK YOU!!^^"

"FILA!!=D"

"OMG~ my favs blink blink~~ lols!^^ From Weixuan, Kahjone and Tommy!^^"

"I love blink blink!! this is my fav!!^^

THANK YOU everyone for giving my those lovely gifts!^^
i love them!! more than just how it looks!!
its meaningful to me..^^

And thanks to those that greeted me at 12.00 am~XD
Thanks Suwei, Mel, Redmond, Sista, Aiai!!
Thanks everyone!^^

Thanks again everyone!!^^
You guys are the reason my life is interesting and happy=)

Axel out.^^

A lovely Poem.

2009-04-11T18:27:00.000+08:00

You were once my friend,
Or should i say my soulmate,
Usually on my mind when im sad.

Should i ever forgive you?
Use positive thinking?
Could this be done?
Kick it all away like it never happened before?

My oh my this decision is hard to make,
Of everyone i know it must be you,
That person that i always cared about,
Had lead me to a hard split road now,
Every second is painful like a knife thrust my heart,
Remaining are only past that can never be erased.

For everything i did for you,
Usually are good ones that makes you a better person,
Can you please don't put all my hard work in vain?
Kingdom are just like our life,
Everyone in the kingdom has their role to play,
Role must not be denined or else things would go wrong.

To those that read my poem, hope you like it, and drop come comments, thanks.

(To the one that im writing to,
"you know im writing to you, and we both know how much i tried to help you, now you screwed me up, and our friendship has just sunk. Still, thanks for reading, and please wake up. Hope you can change in the future, but i won't be around when you do. Take care")

OMFG its goin to be gone...

2009-04-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

My hair, caused me a few warning letter and BSL=)
Now its not going to happen anymore...

It all happened like this.
Today i had a long day at school, then they had a spot check at school, ran like hell, and end up getting away, but i know if i don't do something about my hair today, tomorrow is going to be my turn to be in hell (The dude's office)

So i decided to pay a visit to the near by Hair Salon around my neighborhood, and yea, i found one, got in to it, and realized that the owner is a Korean. Thats when it all started... shit im doomed...

I went sitting on the chair, waiting for my turn... and at that very moment, i thought i should change a different style instead of only trimming it short all the time, so yea! i knew it was going to be disappointing at the end, but i didn't think much that time.

I picked up the book laying around the table, and started to kill some time with it. And surprisingly, some of the pictures in it makes me feeling like changing my hair style!!o.o

And its finally my turn!!=D
i went sitting on the "throne", and started to communicate with the Hair Stylist. WTF it was a complete waste of time... He almost couldn't understand a single word i said!! so i used sign language!!(no, its not the middle finger)!! and he got me...

YEA he got me good alright... my hair is like, omfg short...
my fringe!! ITS GONEEEEE

T.T.....

The last moment of my old hair style...
2006 May 24 - 2009 April 8
In loving memories...

Axel out T.T